Video Vegan – Bacon Two Ways – Rice Paper Bacon & Tofu Bacon

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2017

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or just print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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Two new videos up on my Delightful Delicious Delovely & Video Vegan channel on Youtube.  They are for this amazing rice paper bacon-

Vegan Rice Paper Bacon

INGREDIENTS

Rice paper sheets

2 TBS olive oil

3 TBS soy sauce (or tamari or liquid aminos)

6 TBS nutritional yeast

1/2 tsp liquid smoke

1 TBS maple syrup

DIRECTIONS (watch the video for visual directions)

Cut the rice paper into strips.

Mix the remaining ingredients.  Get a bowl of water.

Heat a frying pan.  I sprayed mine with cooking spray.  Soak the 2 strips in the water a few seconds until they soften.  Squeeze excess water off the first one & dredge it through your smokey paste.  Stick the other strip to one side of the dredged slice to make it a double thick slice (single thickness is too fragile in the pan).  Dredge the thicker slice again & fry it 2 minutes or so on each side or until it starts to get crispy but before it burns.  Drain on paper towels.   Repeat.

Taste.  Lose your shit.

and that tofu bacon just above.  Bother a really good in sandwiches.  Enjoy!

Vegan Tofu Bacon

INGREDIENTS

1 block of the firmest tofu you can find – sliced thin

1 TBS olive oil

2 TBS soy sauce (or tamari or liquid aminos)

1 TBS nutritional yeast

1 tsp liquid smoke

1 tsp onion powder or granulated onion

1 1/2 TBS maple syrup

DIRECTIONS (watch the video for visual directions)

Heat the oven to 375.

Slice the tofu thinly.  Whisk the remaining ingredients together & marinate the tofu strips in it a few minutes.  Grease a cooking sheet & bake the tofu for 15 minutes or until crispy.  Drain on paper towels.

Enjoy!

 

DDD Ep. #8 – 5-minute Sticky, Spicy, Korean BBQ Chicken with Sesame Hibachi Noodles (Vegan)

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2017

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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I am reposting this recipe from August 27, 2015 because it is episode #8 on my cooking show – Delightful Delicious Delovely & Video Vegan.  Go there for all my long & short format cooking videos & please subscribe.

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Holy fucking shit!  This 5-minute Sticky, Spicy, Korean BBQ Chicken is AWESOME!  Honestly, the sauce on them takes 5 minutes & will blow your socks off!  The noodles are more delicate in flavor & accompany the chicken well – and will take as long to cook as the package directs but this whole thing can be don in under 20 minutes.  These noodles are probably more authentically prepared with soba noodles but I just used this spaghetti here.

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I used the best faux chicken on the market – Beyond Meat.  Click that link to find a store locator & maybe grab a coupon!  I used vegan butter & I am pretty sure that vegetarian hoisin in vegan (I am not yet 100% vegan).  If you fear it is not – substitute with a vegan teriyaki sauce.

***NOTES – I used gochujang – a Korean spicy paste.  I see it at my local grocery store in the Asian section but you might have to go to a Korean market or buy it online.  It is like a thick & spicy ketchup.  One suggestion to substitute it is:

“Per tablespoon – Make a paste of 1 tablespoon red chilli pepper flakes moistened with soy sauce and add a little sugar. This will not replicate the complexity but a similar flavor profile.

HERE is another option to substitute using sambal oelek.

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Sesame Hibachi Noodles

Serves 4 (cut this recipe in half to match the chicken quantity – or just treat yourself to leftover yummy noodles)

INGREDIENTS

1 lb noodles (your choice of spaghetti or soba or linguine etc) – cooked & drained

2 TBS vegan butter

2 TBS brown sugar

2 garlic cloves – minced

4 TBS low sodium soy sauce (or tamari)

1 TBS hoisin sauce (or teriyaki sauce)

1 tsp to 2 TBS crushed red pepper (I like shit hot – you might not – so adjust to suite your taste)

1 TBS sesame oil

Sesame seeds

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DIRECTIONS

Cook the noodles.

Meanwhile – heat the butter in a saute pan.  Add the garlic for one minute & then add sugar, hoisin (or teriyaki) and the crushed red pepper.  Bring to a boil & let it thicken a bit.  Add the sesame oil & then immediately toss with the drained, warm noodles

Sprinkle with sesame seeds & maybe extra crushed red pepper.

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5-minute Sticky, Spicy, Korean BBQ Chicken

Serves 2 (double this recipe to match the noodle quantity)

INGREDIENTS

9 oz vegan Beyond chicken – cubed

3 TBS agave nectar (or honey – if you are not vegan)

2 garlic cloves – minced

1 tsp to 2 TBS crushed red pepper (Again – I like shit hot – you might not – so adjust to suite your taste)

1 TBS gochujang (see notes above)

1 TBS low sodium soy sauce (or tamari)

Juice of 1/2 lime

2 tsp sesame oil

Scallions – sliced – as garnish

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DIRECTIONS

Thaw & cube the chicken.

Put the rest of the ingredients (not the chicken) into a sauce pan & bring to a boil  Simmer a few minutes until it thickens – less than 5 minutes.  Add the chicken & cook until the sauce is thick & clinging to the chicken – maybe even letting a few bits brown or char.  Be careful not to burn it.

Garnish with scallions & serve with the noodles.  YUM!

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DDD Ep. #9 – Easy 5-Ingredient Fresh Mint & Zucchini Pasta (Vegan or Vegetarian)

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2016

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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I am reposting this recipe from last year here again because it is episode #9 on my cooking show on Youtube – Video Vegan.  The newer recipe is 100% vegan.  Check out the video here & please subscribe!

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From November 17, 2016:

I started this blog on about July 5, 2012.  On July 13, 2012, I posted one of my all-time favorite recipes.  It is one I got from my good friend, Naomi Priestley.  It is Zucchini & Mint Pasta with Parmesan (seen just above).  But – it is such a divine dish – I thought I would post it again with a few new options.  1) It can be made without cheese altogether or 2) without cheese but with a squeeze of lemon juice or 3) with vegan Parmesan.

Do not be thrown by the idea of mint in a pasta dish – it is delicious!  It is especially lovely when you use fresh, homemade pasta – but dry pasta is fine, too.  If you do not consider oil and S&P to be legit ingredients – this is a 5 ingredient dish & comes together in less than 20 minutes.

I bought this ridiculous $5 micro basil because it looks pretty.  It is tasty, too, but it is certainly an unnecessary indulgence.

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Fresh Mint & Zucchini Pasta (Vegan or Vegetarian)

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS

1/2 lb pasta – cooked & drained

Olive oil

3-5 zucchini – either grated or spiralized or sliced (you can use as much zucchini as you like to mitigate the amount of pasta you eat or to, at least, lighten up the dish)

1-3 cloves garlic – chopped

1/4 cup fresh mint – chopped

S&P to taste

OPTIONS – Parmesan or vegan Parmesan (to taste) and or a squeeze of fresh lemon juice

Garnish: chopped mint and/or parsley and/or basil, more cheese, crushed red pepper

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DIRECTIONS

Cook & drain the pasta.

I spiralized the zucchini but you can grate or slice it.  Spiralizing is a good way to bury veggies in a spaghetti dish so your kids do not notice the veggies in there.  I sliced the ends that were too short to spiralize.

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Heat a glug or two of olive oil in a large saute pan.  Saute the garlic for about 30 seconds & then add the zucchini.  Saute a few minutes & then add mint and season with S&P.   When the zucchini is soft – add the pasta & combine.  Add cheese or vegan cheese here – if you are using it – or squeeze in some lemon – if you are going that route.  Plate & serve with cheese and/or chopped herbs (mint or basil or parsley).

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DDD Ep. #10 – Vegan Punjabi Baingan Bharta – A Spicy Roasted Eggplant Dish from India with Basmati Rice

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2017

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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I started this blog in July 2012 & this was one of the very first recipes I posted.  I ADORE this smoky & creamy Indian eggplant dish.  I am reposting the original post here because I just added this recipe to my new Youtube cooking show – Video Vegan.  Check out the video and, please,  subscribe to my channel.


From July 26, 2012:

I started experimenting with Indian food over twenty years ago – when I gave up eating meat.  I had more misses than hits & found out a few things the hard way – like finding out the Krishna’s do not use onion or garlic (essential ingredients – in my opinion) after spending $30 on a Krishna cookbook (this one – AVOID it – http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lord-Krishnas-Cuisine-Vegetarian-Cooking/dp/0896470202).   Krishnas avoid onion & garlic for many surprising reasons – among them that garlic may “lead to lewd indulgences.”  (http://kurma.net/essays/e19.html)  This – alone – is reason enough to eat garlic all the time.   Anyway – I made Indian food every day for weeks on end.  I invited people over frequently – to sample my results.  Soon – they became reticent and later – exhibited outright defiance – and would only agree to come over & be fed on the condition I did NOT serve Indian food.  Not because it was always bad (though it often was) – but more because it just got to be kinda ridiculous.  We were all walking around reeking of curry.  Sad times.

Thankfully, I tell you those days are long gone.  I have broadened my vegetarian menu extensively and it is more likely to be pizza my guests object to having – yes, again – than Indian food.  This eggplant dish is always my favorite & my go-to item on any Indian menu.  If you hate eggplant – do not be alarmed.  This dish transforms eggplant into an unrecognizable mush that is so heavily seasoned – few could identify the primary ingredient without having been told.  Likewise – if you are among the unfortunate among us that loathe cilantro – and I know you are out there – the cilantro here, while important, gets lost in the blend of other flavors.  If you hate cilantro – it is not your fault.  Here is an article outlining why: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/dining/14curious.html.  Cilantro haters are in a similar category to those among us that know the agonies of “asparagus pee.”  Apparently – we ALL produce the smelly stuff – but only 22% can detect the scent…at least according to this article: http://bodyodd.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/06/29/12463697-psst-asparagus-pee-are-you-in-the-club?lite.  I also found this tidbit – which explains it a different way:

Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Goldberg explained asparagus pee in their book,“Why Do Men Have Nipples?”.

“Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan. It is also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs, and in the secretions of skunks,” they wrote. “The signature smell occurs when this substance is broken down in your digestive system. Not all people have the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan, so some of you can eat all the asparagus you want without stinking up the place. One study published in the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that only 46 percent of British people tested produced the odor while 100 percent of French people tested did.”

Anyway – use the damned cilantro.  It adds MUCH needed color to this dish & you will not be offended by its taste.  At least use a little.  OK?  Please?

This dish is spicy.  Genuinely so.  Lessen the quantity of serrano/jalapeno if spice irks you.  Add more if you are a spice freak.  Also know – I use WAY more of the other spices listed than most any other version of this recipe you will find.  This is a powerfully flavored version.  Also know – it is an AMAZING dieter’s dish because the only thing in it with any calorie count work mentioning is the 2 tablespoons of olive oil – and this recipe makes an ENORMOUS amount of this stuff.  I bet it could feed 6 or 8 folks – what with the rice addition and all.  A cup of eggplant has 20 calories.  2 TBS of olive oil have – GREAT CRIPES – I just looked it up!!  2 TBS of olive oil is 240 calories!  Jeez.  That explains a LOT about my ass & thighs.   Ok -still – Let’s call this 6 cups of eggplant & 2 TBS of olive oil – for a total of 360 calories for the ENTIRE RECIPE.  And it is delicious!

Again – this will make a LOT of this dish.  Be prepared for yummy leftovers.

One final note – broiling the eggplant the day before or way in advance (so they can cool) is very helpful, but not necessary.

PRINT THIS RECIPE

Vegan Punjabi Baingan Bharta – A Spicy Roasted Eggplant Dish from India with Basmati Rice

INGREDIENTS

5 medium eggplant

2 medium onions – diced

3 inch cube of fresh ginger – or 4 TBS jarred, minced ginger (fresh is better)

2 TBS olive oil

1 TBS cumin SEEDS (not ground cumin)

1 large jalapeno – seeded & diced

2 large serrano chiles – seeded & diced

4 garlic cloves – crushed

4 medium tomatoes – diced

2 TBS garam masala (recipe here – if you cannot find it made: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/easy-garam-masala/)

1 tsp ground coriander

2 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp turmeric

2 tsp salt

1 bunch fresh cilantro

Extra tomato or red bell pepper (pictured above) – diced very fine for garnish.  Garnish is important with this dish because it is really little more than a dark mush.  It needs prettifying more than your average bear.  Extra cilantro – chopped fine – can also be nice – instead or in addition.

DIRECTIONS

Prick your eggplants all over with a fork.  Line a cookie sheet with foil & place the eggplant on it & into the oven.  Broil the eggplant about 5 inches from the flame – turning OFTEN – until they are bursting & blackened on all sides.  DO NOT FORGET TO PRICK THE EGGPLANTS or they WILL explode inside your oven & that will be one crime scene you will not want to clean up.

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They will look like this when they are done.  It might take 20-30 minutes – depending on the size of your eggplant & your broiler.  You kinda can’t OVER do this – though you can under do it.  Err on the side of charring.  It adds flavor & makes removing the skin WAY easier!

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Let the eggplant cool until they are safe to handle.  HOURS of cooling is best – unless you have Grandma hands & you are impervious to scalding hot eggplant juice.

Cut the green cap end off the eggplant & remove all the flesh from the charred skin (sounds gross).  The result should look kind of like this (looks gross):

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Roughly chop this eggplant up & set it aside.

Heat the olive oil up in a pan.  When it is hot – add the cumin seeds.  Beware – they will sizzle & pop & some will jump out of the pan at you.  Ouch.

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Once these are fragrant  – about a minute – add the chopped onion & fry until they are translucent & soften.  Add the garlic & ginger & serrano/jalapenos.

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Saute this for another minute or two.

Add the chopped tomatoes.

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Stir this a minute then add the garam masala, ground coriander, ground cumin, turmeric & salt.

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Add the chopped eggplant.  Stir.  Chop the cilantro & add it to the mix & blend well.  Remove from heat.

Using a food processor or a blender – puree the entire mixture.  Return the puree to the pan to keep it warm on very low heat.  The pureeing isn’t essential but I think it delivers a more pleasing result and more completely fuses the flavors.  If you are unable to puree or choose not to – simply be sure to chop all the ingredients very finely before adding them to the recipe – especially the eggplant.  Hunks of soft eggplant can bum some people out.

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BASMATI RICE

INGREDIENTS

2 cups basmati rice – rinsed several times in a colander

1 TBS olive oil

1 tsp cumin seeds

1 tsp salt

20 green cardamom pods (if you can get them)

DIRECTIONS

Heat the olive oil in a pan.  Once hot – add the cumin seeds & the cardamom pods – again being wary of their popping & spitting.  I used 20 cardamom pods because mine were a bit old.  You might want to use fewer if yours are fresh & really pungent.  After a minute – add the rice & stir until it is all covered in oil & the spices are well blended.  Add 4 cups of water (or whatever ratio of rice to water your package suggests) & bring to a boil.  Use less water for firmer rice.  Once boiling – reduce heat to low & simmer, covered, for however long the rice package instructs you.  Remove from heat.  Fluff with a fork.

Serve the rice on individual plates.  Top with the Baingan Bharta & garnish with either finely diced tomato, red bell pepper – or extra cilantro.

DDD Ep. #6 – Vegan Roast Beef (Steak) with Sauteed Onions & Mushrooms & Roasted Heirloom Carrots

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2017

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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As you may or may not know – I started a Youtube channel last month.  I have almost twenty recipes posted there on:

Click HERE to go to the channel & check it out.

The roast beef you see here is my latest endeavor.  Here is the video.


Vegan Roast Beef (Steak) with Sauteed Onions & Mushrooms & Roasted Heirloom Carrots

INGREDIENTS

2 1/2 cups vital wheat gluten (or just enough to get a proper dough texture)

1 TBS caraway seeds (ground in a mill or with a mortar & pestle)

1 TBS fennel seeds (ground in a mill or with a mortar & pestle)

2 TBS freeze-dried shallots or granulated onions (or minced raw shallots)

1 TBS paprika

S&P to taste (go LIGHT with the salt)

1 cup vegetable stock

1/2 cup olive oil

2 TBS vinegar (red, white, balsamic – your call)

2 TBS molasses

1 cooked beet pureed with 1/2 cup veggie stock

A dry rub of your choice (or simply a blend of dry herbs)

Bottled marinade of your choice mixed with equal part water OR veggie stock with a few bay leaves

Cheesecloth & kitchen twine

1 onion – sliced

2 TBS brown sugar

8 oz mushrooms – sliced

1 bunch heirloom carrots

Additional olive oil

DIRECTIONS

Heat the oven to 425

Whisk the first 6 (dry) ingredients together in a bowl.  In another bowl, whisk the stock, oil, vinegar, molasses & pureed beet.  Blend the wet & dry ingredients – adding vital wheat gluten or more stock until you have a ground beef texture.

Roll in your dry rub & wrap tightly in cheesecloth – tying off the ends.

Bring your marinade to  boil, reduce to a simmer & add the beef to it.  Simmer for an hour – turning once in the middle.  Be careful you do not boil your marinade away.  Add water or stock – if you need to.

Heat olive oil in a pan.  Remove the cheesecloth & pan sear the beef on both sides.  Set aside.  You can slice this thinly & make sandwiches or – go for the steak option.

In the same pan, heat some butter or olive oil & saute the onions until soft.  Add 2 TBS brown sugar & saute until the onions become golden.  Add the mushrooms & saute until they are done to your taste.  Season with S&P.

If you are doing “steaks,” cut them & sear them on both sides in the mushroom pan.

Toss the carrots in olive oil and S&P & roast 10-15 minutes (or until they begin to turn golden) – turning them once in the middle.

Serve!

DDD Ep. #3 – Vegan Chicken Piccata

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2014

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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I am sharing this recipe from May 2014 because I have a new episode of my new Youtube show – Delightful Delicious Delovely & Video Vegan to go with it.  Check out the on-camera recipe here (and lease subscribe to my channel):

I always adored chicken piccata.  I love capers, I love lemon and, defiantly, I love parsley!  But, about 25 years ago, I gave up meat from mammals & poultry.  “Meat from mammals” sounds like something they found at Jeffrey Dahmer’s because – well – that IS what they found there.  But I mean I gave up red meat which, sorry folks, includes pork, and I gave up chicken & the like.  I only gave up seafood this year (because of lots of things but Fukushima was the last straw).

I miss the oddest things from the meat & chicken world.  Costco hotdogs.  Big Macs (which I would no longer eat because of pink slime etc – even if I ate meat).  Really, really rare steak.  Any real selection of any ethnic food beyond Indian.  Tacos (fish tacos).  Street cart kinda food.  And chicken piccata.

So – with all this fake meat suddenly deluging the market – I have begun to get quite busy experimenting with it.  In the past, fake meat was seitan or tempeh – which I find have flavors too specific to mask easily and tofu which has always underwhelmed me- and now soy is all GMO & shit & so I try to avoid that, too.  Then there are veggie burgers & veggie dogs – which are reasonable replacements for the real thing but they can’t be turned into chicken piccata.  And the fake breakfast sausage patties they make are great!  A decent fake bacon is still an apparition on the horizon – except for the chemical-burn inducing Bacos – which I have been known to eat, by the jar, with a bottle of red.

Sometimes, I am really gross & pathetic.

Anyway, it seems that overnight – there is a selection of fake meats in even the most mainstream supermarkets and I have been having great success with them!  Look at how delicious a vegan chicken (firecracker chicken) can be!

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Prefer beef?  Behold!

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HERE are some other vegan chicken selections from my recipe book.  And HERE are some vegan beef ones.

 

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OK – so – chicken piccata!  OK – the first time I attempted it this week – I used these cutlet things because they seemed to replicate real chicken piccata visually better.

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So – I whipped them up into a piccata & made myself that garlic baby broccoli, and some lemon-basil baby squash & some jalapeno mashed cauliflower – plated it up & commenced photographing it.  Here are the results:

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While this was all very delicious (though these cutlet-style pieces retain some of the stronger and not altogether awesome flavors of earlier faux meat products) – I did not like the darkness of the “chicken” piccata in these photos.  So – I endeavored to make it again using some chicken strip-style faux meat I had.

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I picked around in this bag & pulled out all the larger strips I could find.  I used about half this bag in the recipe here.  (UPDATE – I would suggest using Beyond Meat – if you can find it near you.)

And look at how convincingly it looks like chicken once it is cooked!  Isn’t that amazing?  I am very excited about this & VERY glad I attempted this recipe a second time.  This brand of fake chicken tastes way better than any of the Gardein products I have tried but Simple Truth products are really Kroger products & this Simple Truth folks were recently exposed as being lying motherfuckers.  Or MISLEADING motherfuckers, at the very least.   Read about the lawsuit HERE.  And PS – I once bought a few cans of Kroger pitted black olives & they tasted SO MUCH like chemicals – I actually returned the unopen cans for a refund.  That marks my ONLY return of a grocery item in my life!  I avoid Kroger now whenever I can (no pun intended!).  🙂  So – I still highly recommend the Trader Joe’s faux beef & chicken products & the Beyond Meat stuff that the coupon above is for.

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Chicken piccata is a dish that allows a bit of wiggle room.  I REALLY like capers & I love lemon – so I go heavy on these.  I will admit, I actually used real butter here but a vegan option is perfectly fine.  There is a shallot in my pictures but I forgot to use it.  Oops!

Say – have you heard?  I wrote a comedy NOVEL!!!!!  Go to http://www.BathingBook.com & find out more – and maybe BUY it!  The reviews on Amazon are pretty awesome!

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Vegan Chicken Piccata

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS

About 1/2 lb of vegan chicken (like Beyond Meat)

Flour

2 lemons – one sliced into thin rounds.  One quartered for garnish.

1/2 cup Parsley – chopped

2-3 TBS Vegan (or real – if you ain’t vegan) butter

Olive Oil

3 garlic cloves – minced

1 cup dry white wine (or cooking wine) OR 1 TBS Dijon mixed into a cup of water

Capers (I used 1/2 of a 4 oz jar – but I LOVE capers!)

Vegetable bouillon (I used 1/2 of one of the large ones seen below – enough for 1 cup stock – and I am not certain they are vegan)

S&P

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DIRECTIONS

Toss the faux chicken in enough flour to lightly coat the pieces.  Add some S&P & toss.

In a large saute pan, heat about 1 TBS olive oil & 1 TBS of whatever kind of butter you are using over med-high heat.  Add the fake chicken.  I pressed the chicken flat in the pan.

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My chicken cooked up nicely but I did have to add another TBS or so of olive oil to keep the pan from becoming too dry.  When the chicken (and this would even apply to real chicken) is heated through & browned, take it from the pan & set aside.

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At this point, I added about another TBS of butter & a dollop of olive oil & the bouillon.   Be very careful NOT to burn your butter.  Once the bouillon dissolved, I added the garlic.  After 30 seconds – THIRTY SECONDS because garlic burns fast – I added the wine.  I increased the heat to high & added HALF the lemon rounds and the capers.  I saved the other half of the rounds to put under the piccata when I served it.

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This came to a boil pretty fast & I let it do its thing there for a minute or two until it thickened just a bit.  If yours doesn’t thicken quickly, a few PINCHES of flour whisked in should help.  Add the chicken & a few pinches of chopped parsley & heat it all through.

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Once it seems hot – serve that shit up!   Plate it over a few fresh lemon rounds & garnish it with LOTS of parsley & maybe more capers & a lemon wedge.  This goes really will over pasta noodles or mashed potatoes.  I used mashed cauliflower & I was VERY pleased with myself!   I nice white wine & a veggie side & you are good to go!  Go & buy my BOOK, that is!  🙂

www.BathingBook.com

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Vegan BBQ Ribs (Seitan) with Spicy Korean or Spicy Traditional BBQ Sauce

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2014

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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I am reposting this recipe from June 2014 because I have a new Video Vegan Youtube recipe to go with it.  Check it out here:

Holy.  Fucking.  Shit.

These are so crazy easy & so freaking delicious – I might eat them every day for the rest of my life!  As a kid, BBQ ribs with that red, Chinese BBQ sauce were my favorite food on Earth.  Having given meat up 25 years ago or so – I have often longed for those fuckers but nobody seemed to have any way to replicate them.  Until now!

These will not fool a meat-eater into thinking these are beef or pork but who cares about that?  Not fucking ME.  I was very pleased with myself yesterday – having eaten the entire plate of these spicy wonders and – and sat there wondering why I put off trying to make my own seitan (wheat gluten-based fake meat) for this long.

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This is the brand I bought & I got it at the local health food store.  I am certain Whole Foods & places like Erewhon must also carry it – perhaps even in the bulk items aisle.  If you live in a remote area – buy it online.  But BUY IT!

The rack of 8 ribs I made yesterday took 1 cup of this flour to make – which is only about 500 calories – plus the calories from the BBQ sauce.  Not bad for what feels like an enormous amount of meat because, remember, those ribs you see here are boneless – so that big slab is all eatin’ material.  Plus – it is really enough for two – I just completely lost my shit & shoved these down my gullet like hotdog-eating champion Takeru Kobayashi.  It must have looked obscene (had anyone been here to watch me) and I will admit to a near-sexual level of excitement as I devoured these.  It was madness!  I had become unhinged!  And I write about it now without shame or regret.  Though I still suffer from a haunting, multi-pronged depression-anxiety that clings to me like a sticky burr on a pilly Irish sweater.  So – these ribs, magical as they are, do not cure THIS feeling (photographer unknown):

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Never fear – wine takes at least some of the edge off – if you also feel like that image above.  The combo of wine & these ribs will keep those demons at bay for at least a brief respite.

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OK – back to the ribs.  I made two kinds of BBQ sauce yesterday – Korean & traditional.  Both were very spicy but I ended up opting to use the Korean variety on my first faux rib effort.  The Korean one was made in my crock-pot as I hiked.  The other was made stove-top.   I used 2 TBS Gochujang (seen below) in the Korean BBQ sauce but only because I had it.  It is in NO WAY critical to the final outcome.

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Spicy Korean BBQ Sauce

INGREDIENTS

3/4 cup dark brown sugar

3/4 cup low sodium tamari (soy sauce)

1/4 cup water

1 TBS rice vinegar

2 TBS chili paste (sambal oelek or other type)

2 TBS Gochujang (optional)

2 tsp sesame oil

1 tsp ground pepper

1 TBS fresh ginger (minced)

5 garlic cloves – minced

2 TBS cornstarch

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DIRECTIONS

I put everything EXCEPT the cornstarch into a little crock-pot & left it for two hours.  Once it was bubbly – I added 2 TBS cornstarch & whisked it in.  That made the sauce very thick & gooey.  Perfect!  You can do this stove-top by just bringing everything (except cornstarch) to a boil & then whisk in the cornstarch.  It would likely take only a few minutes to come together.

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Spicy Traditional BBQ Sauce

INGREDIENTS

2 cups ketchup

1 cup water

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar

5 TBS brown sugar

2 TBS white sugar

1 TBS ground pepper

1 TBS garlic powder

1 TBS onion powder

1 TBS Dijon

1 teaspoon dry mustard

1 TBS horseradish

1 TBS lemon juice

1 TBS vegan (or other) Worcestershire sauce

2+ chipotle peppers in adobo (minced) (use more or less to suit your heat tolerance – I used 5)

juice of 1 orange

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DIRECTIONS

Bring all ingredients to a boil & simmer until thick.  10-15 minutes.  Maybe more but not likely.

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Vegan BBQ Ribs

INGREDIENTS

1 cup vital wheat gluten

2 tsp chipotle powder (smoked or not)

1 TBS lemon pepper

1 TBS onion powder

1 TBS garlic powder

1 cup water

2 TBS tahini

2 TBS low sodium tamari (soy sauce)

1-2 drops (DROPS – as this shit is overpowering and gets nasty-tasting fast) – liquid smoke (optional)

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DIRECTIONS

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.  Also – get the barbeque ready.  It is the grilling of these guys that is the magic.  A regular BBQ with charcoals is best.

Mix the wet ingredients (water, tahini, tamari & liquid smoke) in a small bowl.  Set aside.

In a larger bowl – mix the dry ingredients (wheat gluten & spices) and add the wet ingredients.  Mix it up until that gooey hamburger-looking stuff comes together – which happens almost instantly.

Grease a loaf pan & press the seitan into the pan.  Smooth it flat.  Bake it at 350 for about 30 minutes.  Remove from the oven & transfer the seitan to a plate & slather it with the BBQ sauce of your choice.

When your charcoals are ready – flop the seitan, BBQ sauce side down, onto the grill.  Slather lots more BBQ sauce on the other side.

Now just cook this until it looks the way you would want ribs to look.  I took mine off too early & found the “ribs” still not chewy enough to seem like meat so – I cut the slab into ribs and cooked them all a bit more.

And then I commenced the food orgy.  I suggest you do the same!

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