DDD Ep. #25 – Vegan Hearts of Palm Crab Salad

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2017

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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I am reposting this recipe from May 3, 2016 because I now have an episode of my cooking show (www.VideoVegan.com) to accompany it.  Click the image below to watch!  And please – subscribe to my channel.

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While I was very pleased with my Vegan Jackfruit Tuna Salad (seen just above in the avocado) – I know that jackfruit is an exotic ingredient & not easily found by many people.  So – I endeavored to make a vegan seafood dish with something more readily available – hearts of palm – and had great success!  Nothing in this recipe is hard to find.  If you are not vegan & eat real mayonnaise – this Japanese mayo used for sushi might be nice in this – as it adds a sweetness.

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I only mention that stuff because I plan on making California rolls with this crab salad & the Kewpie would make them more authentic.  Still – I did not use Kewpie.  I used Just Mayo.

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I also used Old Bay seasoning – which is vegan.   One of the best things about this recipe is the low calorie count of the hearts of palm.  Check it out:

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So – hears of palm, vegan mayo, Old Bay & few other ingredients & voila!  Comes together as fast as a real tuna salad would.  I used a food processor but this is not entirely necessary.  In fact – I might just finely chop the hearts of palm next time – because crab salad is textured & chunky.  Still – I am going  for a California roll with this (which I will post soon) so the finer chop seemed like a good idea.  Either way – I think you will be very happy with this salad!

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Vegan Hearts of Palm Crab Salad

Serves 2 on a salad or in avocado halves or in sandwiches

INGREDIENTS

2 (14 oz) cans hearts of palm – drained

1/4 onion – minced

3 celery stalks – minced

2 tsp Old Bay seasoning

1/2 cup vegan mayo

1 small tomato – seeded & chopped finely

1/4 cup grated carrots – chopped even more

2 tsp prepared horseradish (optional)

4-5 springs of fresh dill – fronds chopped

S&P to taste

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DIRECTIONS

You can either finely chop everything to suit your taste & combine them or – do as I did – and pulse MOST OF (not all) the onion & celery & tomato then add ONE can of hearts of palm – and pulse.  Add mayo & horseradish & Old Bay & pulse.  Add the second can of hearts of palm & pulse until it is mostly chopped & then simply stir in some larger chunks of celery, tomato & chopped carrots for color & texture.  Stir in the dill.  Taste for S&P.

If your resulting salad is too wet – (mine was very wet) – simply wrap it in a clean kitchen towel & twist out all the excess moisture.

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Once the excess liquid is out – you can decide whether or not to add more mayo  or additional spices.  Serve as you will with maybe some extra fresh dill as garnish.

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DDD Ep. #21 – Vegan Spicy Thai Red Curry & Coconut Cauliflower Rice

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2017

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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Reposting this now here because there is a video to accompany it.   Please consider following me on my channel there.

I have posted several variations of cauliflower rice over the years – most of which can be found HERE.  This one is likely the richest of the lot due to the added lite coconut milk.  Still – if you consider that it isn’t really rice but, rather just grated cauliflower, that added decadence of the coconut milk & curry paste are not that bad.

Cauliflower rice is easiest if you have a food processor with a grating blade.  If not – you can grate the cauliflower with a box grater or other grater – but raw cauliflower tends to pop all over the place & can get rather messy.

I’m not sure if some of my earlier cauliflower rice recipes had the added step of steaming the cauliflower & squeezing out the water – but – that is a step not necessary for cauliflower rice.  I think that step only matters if you are going to make cauliflower pizza dough or cauliflower tortillas – as seen below.

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This dish is quick & easy & very tasty.  And good for you!

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Vegan Spicy Thai Red Curry & Coconut Cauliflower Rice

Serves 4 or more as a side

INGREDIENTS

1 large head cauliflower – grated in with a food processor or a manual grater

Coconut or other cooking oil

1 red bell pepper – diced

1 onion diced

1-3 jalapenos – minced (use more or less according to your taste for heat)

1-6 cloves of garlic – chopped (use more or less according to your taste for garlic)

1 cup lite coconut milk

1 TBS red curry paste

1 TBS Bragg’s liquid amino acids (or soy sauce or tamari)

1 tsp agave nectar (or sugar)

1/4 cup chopped cilantro

Garnish – cilantro, lime wedges

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DIRECTIONS

In a very large saute pan, heat about 1 TBS oil & add the cauliflower.  Saute on high for 5-7 minutes or until it just begins to brown.  Transfer to a bowl  & set aside.

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In the same pan, add about another TBS of oil & saute the red bell pepper, onion & jalapeno until they get soft – maybe 5 minutes.  Add the garlic & stir for a minute & then add the curry paste & coconut milk & amino acid (or soy sauce) & agave.  Incorporate & then add the cauliflower rice.  Stir in some cilantro & combine.  Garnish with additional cilantro & lime wedges & serve.

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Spicy Garlic and Ginger Green Beans

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2014

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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So easy & delicious over rice or my Garlic & Ginger Cauliflower Rice.

Spicy Garlic and Ginger Green Beans

INGREDIENTS

12 oz green beans

1 onion – sliced

1 TBS (more or less – to taste) crushed red pepper

2 TBS coconut oil (or olive oil)

4 garlic cloves – minced

1 TBS ginger – minced

Sesame seeds as garnish

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DIRECTIONS

In a very large saute pan (or wok) – heat the oil on high heat.  Add the onions, green beans & crushed red pepper.  Stir & cook until the green beans are cooked to your desired softness.  I like them a bit crunchy & probably cooked them for between 5-8 minutes.  At the very end, add the minced garlic & ginger & stir to incorporate.  Cook for maybe a minute or two.  Garnish with sesame seeds & eat it as a side or over rice.  Ymmmmmmm!

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The top video there is trailer for my novel.  The second is me reading from it a while back – at Vroman’s.

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Easy Cilantro Scallion Lime Cauliflower Rice

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2014

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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Another easy one!  You could use two cups of real cooked rice, if you prefer, but this cauliflower version is guiltless & who needs guilt?  And by guilt – I mean a fat ass.  So – why not try it at least once?

Easy Cilantro Scallion Lime Cauliflower Rice

INGREDIENTS

1/2 head of raw cauliflower (about 2 cups once “riced”)

1 cup cilantro

4 scallions (green parts only – put the white bottoms in a glass in some water & let them regrow!)

3 garlic cloves

1/4 cup olive oil

juice of two limes

1 tsp salt

water

S&P

Lime wedges & cilantro as garnish

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DIRECTIONS

Grate the cauliflower with a cheese grater – or far more easily – with the grater blade in a food processor.

Puree the remaining ingredients.

In a large pan – add the puree & the cauliflower & heat over med-high heat until the cauliflower is tender.  A few TBS of water might speed that along.  Season with S&P.

Serve with lime wedges & cilantro.  Or with my Vegan Ground Beef Taco Bowl with Cilantro Scallion Lime Cauliflower Rice and Easy Fresh Salsa!

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The top video there is trailer for my novel.  The second is me reading from it a while back – at Vroman’s.

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Vegan Chicken Piccata

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2014

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I always adored chicken piccata.  I love capers, I love lemon and, defiantly, I love parsley!  But, about 25 years ago, I gave up meat from mammals & poultry.  “Meat from mammals” sounds like something they found at Jeffrey Dahmer’s because – well – that IS what they found there.  But I mean I gave up red meat which, sorry folks, includes pork, and I gave up chicken & the like.  I only gave up seafood this year (because of lots of things but Fukushima was the last straw).

I miss the oddest things from the meat & chicken world.  Costco hotdogs.  Big Macs (which I would no longer eat because of pink slime etc – even if I ate meat).  Really, really rare steak.  Any real selection of any ethnic food beyond Indian.  Tacos (fish tacos).  Street cart kinda food.  And chicken piccata.

So – with all this fake meat suddenly deluging the market – I have begun to get quite busy experimenting with it.  In the past, fake meat was seitan or tempeh – which I find have flavors too specific to mask easily and tofu which has always underwhelmed me- and now soy is all GMO & shit & so I try to avoid that, too.  Then there are veggie burgers & veggie dogs – which are reasonable replacements for the real thing but they can’t be turned into chicken piccata.  And the fake breakfast sausage patties they make are great!  A decent fake bacon is still an apparition on the horizon – except for the chemical-burn inducing Bacos – which I have been known to eat, by the jar, with a bottle of red.

Sometimes, I am really gross & pathetic.

Anyway, it seems that overnight – there is a selection of fake meats in even the most mainstream supermarkets and I have been having great success with them!  Look at how delicious a vegan chicken (firecracker chicken) can be!

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Prefer beef?  Behold!

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HERE are some other vegan chicken selections from my recipe book.  And HERE are some vegan beef ones.

Better yet – here is a coupon for some FREE fake meat – good until the end of May 2014!

BYMT_MicroMarketing_FreeCoupon

 

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OK – so – chicken piccata!  OK – the first time I attempted it this week – I used these cutlet things because they seemed to replicate real chicken piccata visually better.

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So – I whipped them up into a piccata & made myself that garlic baby broccoli, and some lemon-basil baby squash & some jalapeno mashed cauliflower – plated it up & commenced photographing it.  Here are the results:

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While this was all very delicious (though these cutlet-style pieces retain some of the stronger and not altogether awesome flavors of earlier faux meat products) – I did not like the darkness of the “chicken” piccata in these photos.  So – I endeavored to make it again using some chicken strip-style faux meat I had.

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I picked around in this bag & pulled out all the larger strips I could find.  I used about half this bag in the recipe here.  (UPDATE – I would suggest using Beyond Meat – if you can find it near you.)

And look at how convincingly it looks like chicken once it is cooked!  Isn’t that amazing?  I am very excited about this & VERY glad I attempted this recipe a second time.  This brand of fake chicken tastes way better than any of the Gardein products I have tried but Simple Truth products are really Kroger products & this Simple Truth folks were recently exposed as being lying motherfuckers.  Or MISLEADING motherfuckers, at the very least.   Read about the lawsuit HERE.  And PS – I once bought a few cans of Kroger pitted black olives & they tasted SO MUCH like chemicals – I actually returned the unopen cans for a refund.  That marks my ONLY return of a grocery item in my life!  I avoid Kroger now whenever I can (no pun intended!).  🙂  So – I still highly recommend the Trader Joe’s faux beef & chicken products & the Beyond Meat stuff that the coupon above is for.

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Chicken piccata is a dish that allows a bit of wiggle room.  I REALLY like capers & I love lemon – so I go heavy on these.  I will admit, I actually used real butter here but a vegan option is perfectly fine.  There is a shallot in my pictures but I forgot to use it.  Oops!

Say – have you heard?  I wrote a comedy NOVEL!!!!!  Go to http://www.BathingBook.com & find out more – and maybe BUY it!  The reviews on Amazon are pretty awesome!

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Vegan Chicken Piccata

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS

About 1/2 lb of vegan chicken (like Beyond Meat)

Flour

2 lemons – one sliced into thin rounds.  One quartered for garnish.

1/2 cup Parsley – chopped

2-3 TBS Vegan (or real – if you ain’t vegan) butter

Olive Oil

3 garlic cloves – minced

1 cup dry white wine (or cooking wine) OR 1 TBS Dijon mixed into a cup of water

Capers (I used 1/2 of a 4 oz jar – but I LOVE capers!)

Vegetable bouillon (I used 1/2 of one of the large ones seen below – enough for 1 cup stock – and I am not certain they are vegan)

S&P

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DIRECTIONS

Toss the faux chicken in enough flour to lightly coat the pieces.  Add some S&P & toss.

In a large saute pan, heat about 1 TBS olive oil & 1 TBS of whatever kind of butter you are using over med-high heat.  Add the fake chicken.  I pressed the chicken flat in the pan.

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My chicken cooked up nicely but I did have to add another TBS or so of olive oil to keep the pan from becoming too dry.  When the chicken (and this would even apply to real chicken) is heated through & browned, take it from the pan & set aside.

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At this point, I added about another TBS of butter & a dollop of olive oil & the bouillon.   Be very careful NOT to burn your butter.  Once the bouillon dissolved, I added the garlic.  After 30 seconds – THIRTY SECONDS because garlic burns fast – I added the wine.  I increased the heat to high & added HALF the lemon rounds and the capers.  I saved the other half of the rounds to put under the piccata when I served it.

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This came to a boil pretty fast & I let it do its thing there for a minute or two until it thickened just a bit.  If yours doesn’t thicken quickly, a few PINCHES of flour whisked in should help.  Add the chicken & a few pinches of chopped parsley & heat it all through.

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Once it seems hot – serve that shit up!   Plate it over a few fresh lemon rounds & garnish it with LOTS of parsley & maybe more capers & a lemon wedge.  This goes really will over pasta noodles or mashed potatoes.  I used mashed cauliflower & I was VERY pleased with myself!   I nice white wine & a veggie side & you are good to go!  Go & buy my BOOK, that is!  🙂

www.BathingBook.com

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Vegan Mashed Garlic Cauliflower with Caramelized Leeks

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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Enter to win one of five free copies of my book!!!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20554080-bathing-and-the-single-girl

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Mashed cauliflower is even easier than mashed potatoes & can be varied just as many ways.  This is a simple side dish with lots of flavor.  And better yet – you can regrow fresh leeks with just the end you were going to throw away & a little water.  Find out how HERE.

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Vegan Mashed Garlic Cauliflower with Caramelized Leeks

INGREDIENTS

3 leeks – tough green part cut away & the rest chopped & WASHED (leeks are dirty) and drained well

RESERVE THE END TO REGROW!  See how HERE.

2 TBS olive oil

1 tsp brown sugar

Pinch of salt

1 head cauliflower – stem & leafy part cut away

2 cloves chopped garlic

S&P

Stock or vegetable bouillon

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DIRECTIONS

Heat the olive oil in a saute pan.  If your leeks are really wet, dry them a bit in a kitchen towel then saute them in the oil over med-low heat.  Add the sugar & salt & saute for about 20 minutes or so.  Stir them a lot & be sure they do not burn.  They are done when they look about like this:

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Meanwhile – boil the cauliflower in enough stock (or water with some bouillon) until very soft – maybe 15 minutes.  You might want to saute the garlic for about 30 seconds to a minute in olive oil or butter but I used it raw.

Reserve about a cup of the cauliflower water & drain the cauliflower well.  Using a manual masher or a mixer puree the cauliflower like you would with potatoes.  Add the garlic and S&P to taste.  You may or may not need the reserved cauliflower water.  This depends on the moisture already in the cauliflower & your particular preference as to texture.  If you want them to be richer, blend in some butter, cream or cream cheese (or vegan alternatives).

Top with the caramelized leeks & devour!

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Vegan Sriracha Chipotle Cauliflower “Wings”

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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YEAH!  I wrote a funny & dirty novel that is getting great reviews on Amazon!  Check it out – at – www.BathingBook.com!

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OK – my book has been out for a week & a half.  Have you read it yet?  It is only the funniest, fucking book ever written!!!  What the Hell are you waiting for?

Check it out!!!  www.BathingBook.com

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OK, now for the matter of these faux wings.  I love spicy food & chicken wings are something I always find myself envious of when I see others eat them.  I also love sriracha – but ONLY this brand:

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(Image stolen from Google)

This company produces a sauce that is the very definition of sriracha.  But, alas, they have been victims of Irwindale residents near their plant complaining of the spices in the air & it has resulted in lots of problems for the company.  Recently, I have been finding it VERY HARD to find this sriracha – anywhere.  I was extremely distressed because this is not only a frequent ingredient in my recipes but it is an absolute MUST in my Bloody Marys!

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Well, at my local Bangluck Market – I found a whole selection of other brands of sriracha.  Of course, I bought the one in the prettiest bottle.  See there – behind the holy basil?
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I used it in a Bloody Mary & had to throw the cocktail away.  This sriracha isn’t spicy & has a sickly sweet flavor.  Do not fall for these low rent srirachas!  You have been warned!

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These guys are pretty easy to make and delicious.  I ate them two ways – right off the plate as an appetizer or over rice as a meal.  Ymmmmm!

Sriracha Cauliflower “Wings”

INGREDIENTS

1 small head of cauliflower cut into “drumettes”

2 TBS butter (or vegan butter) – melted

1 TBS olive oil

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp garlic powder

S&P

For the glaze

1 chipotle pepper & 2 TBS of its adobo sauce – minced

1/4 cup sriracha sauce

2 garlic cloves – minced

2 TBS butter (or vegan butter)

1/4 cup (or less – to taste) honey – or agave nectar

1-2 TBS soy sauce

juice of 1 lime

Garnish: chopped cilantro and/or sesame seeds

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DIRECTIONS

Heat the oven to 400.

Whisk the melted butter with the olive oil, onion powder & garlic powder.  Add a little S&P.

Toss the cauliflower drumettes in this & roast for about 15-20 minutes (check mid-way to be sure your florets are not getting to mushy) – or until just beginning to brown at the edges.  Parchment paper makes this a far neater process.  If you don’t have any, treat your cooking sheet with cooking spray or olive oil.

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While the cauliflower cooks, melt the butter for the glaze in a sauce pan & then whisk in the other glaze ingredients.  Bring it to a boil & then simmer it over medium heat until it thickens a bit.  Set aside.

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When the cauliflower is ready – toss it with some glaze & roast another 5 minutes.  I then turned the broiler on and WATCHED THEM VERY CAREFULLY (and turned the pan a few times) to get a bit of a blackening effect.  This is totally an optional step.

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Drizzle a bit more glaze on the wings & garnish with cilantro and/or sesame seeds.  Eat as they are or on top of some steamed rice!

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Roasted Cauliflower “Pizza” with Spinach, Feta & Parmesan

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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First of all – I saw this article about ten vegetables & herbs you can buy once & regrow yourself.  HERE it is.  Well – I found myself with scallions the other day & decided to try it out.  These pictures were taken on January 28 after about two days in the water.

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I was so excited – I decided to try it with a browning romaine stump.

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That is about two day’s growth.  Here they are now.

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Isn’t that awesome?  I guess I need to pot them in soil soon but I am very fucking excited about this shit.

Another thing I am excited about is my book!  www.bathingbook.com

Here is my friend Baxter – about to crack open his copy!

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If a little rescue mutt can get it together to buy & read my book, what excuse do you have?  It’s REALLY FUCKING FUNNY – I promise.  Literally laugh out loud funny.  Trust.

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OK – so now on to my faux pizza.  I was too lazy to make cauliflower crust so I just used the cauliflower plain.  I don’t really know what else to call this but pizza.  It was light & delicious & really easy.  Try it!

Oh – and I used this basil oil I got at TJ Maxx.  TJ Maxx is great for discounted fancy food items.

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Roasted Cauliflower “Pizza” with Spinach & Parmesan

INGREDIENTS

Slices of raw cauliflower

Spinach

Feta cheese

Parmesan

Garlic

Olive oil

S&P

Crushed red pepper (optional)

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DIRECTIONS

Heat the oven to 450.   Grease a cooking sheet with cooking spray or use parchment paper.  I ADORE parchment paper!  Nothing sticks & clean up is easier.

Drizzle olive oil on some sliced cauliflower arranged as you want on the cooking sheet.  Add some S&P.  Cook for about 20 minutes.

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Meanwhile, mix up some spinach with Parmesan & crushed garlic & some S&P.  When the cauliflower is tender & browning, take it out & top it with the spinach mix.  Crumble some feta on there.

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Cook another 5-10 minutes or until the cheese is melted & browning.

Top with more feta or Parmesan & lots & lots of crushed red pepper.  Maybe drizzle a bit of nice olive oil on there?  Voila!

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Guiltless Pasta with Creamy Cauliflower Sauce – Faux-fredo! (Vegan & Gluten-free)

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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OK – this is EEEEEASY to make & can be vegan or not.  I added some shaved Parmesan as garnish – mainly to make it pretty to look at.  I also added a tiny bit to the sauce but it is completely unnecessary so – you can either skip it or use a vegan cheese.  I chose not to add any other dairy (real or vegan) to the sauce but it would likely have delivered an even creamier result.  This is plenty creamy & plenty flavorful – so I did not see the point in adding calories.

I also made it with a gluten-free quinoa pasta.  Regular pasta, especially a fettuccine, would be delightful, too.

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Guiltless Pasta with Creamy Cauliflower Sauce – Faux-fredo!

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS

1/2 lb pasta – gluten-free or otherwise

1/2 head cauliflower – cut up into flats or florets

4 garlic cloves (or to taste) – chopped

2 tsp Dijon mustard

Olive oil

About 1/2 cup of vegetable stock

1/4 cup Grated Parmesan or vegan alternative (optional)

S&P to taste

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DIRECTIONS

Heat a TBS or two of olive oil in a large saute pan.  Add the garlic & saute for 30 seconds.  Be careful not to burn or brown the garlic.  Add the stock & the cut up cauliflower.  The stock will not cover the cauliflower.  Bring it to a boil & then reduce heat.   Simmer, covered, for about 10-15 minutes or until the cauliflower is very tender.

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Put the cauliflower & stock in a food processor and add the Dijon & cheese (if you are using cheese).  Blend until very smooth.  You might want to add more stock or water to thin it a bit.  Add S&P to taste.  I added lots & lots of pepper.  You can add heavy cream or a vegan alternative for an even creamier result.  Return this puree to the saute pan & simmer on low while you cook your pasta.

Drain the pasta & toss with the sauce & go to town!  Add more freshly ground pepper or some grated Parmesan if you want.  Mmmmm!

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Vegan Marinated Chicken Banh Mi Sandwich

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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This fucker was awesome!  There are a few steps to assemble the ingredients but they are all easy.  You can make this with any sort of chicken substitute you might like.  I am obsessed with Beyond Meat strips.  They do not have an overpowering taste & can easily be manipulated & I like the texture, too.

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Beyond101

 

Traditionally, banh mi have pork in them but I haven’t found a decent fake pork – unless you believe that pork is “the new white meat.”  If so – this fake chicken could masquerade as fake pork, too.

This takes a few hours of planning ahead so that you can marinate the chicken & pickle the carrots & jalapeno (and daikon – if you have it.  I did not).

If you cannot find vegan fish sauce – there are lots of pretty simple recipes for vegan fish sauce HERE.  Whatever you do, do not skip the marinade because it tastes great & the sriracha mayo is good enough to eat with a spoon.

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Marinated Chicken Banh Mi Sandwich

Makes two sandwiches

INGREDIENTS

2 crusty rolls or some high quality baguette

8 oz faux chicken

1 avocado – cut into slices

1/2 cucumber – sliced thin

leafy lettuce

2 radishes – sliced thin

1 jalapeno – seeded & sliced thin

cilantro

Olive oil or cooking spray

For the pickled vegetables

1 carrot – cut into matchsticks

daikon – cut into matchsticks

1 jalapeno – seeded & cut into matchsticks

3 cups warm water

3 TBS sugar

2 TBS salt

4 TBS white or rice vinegar

For the marinade

1/4 cup low sodium soy sauce

6 garlic cloves (or to taste) – minced

4 shallots (or 1/2 small onion) – diced

2 TBS fish sauce (vegan version – or omit it)

1 tsp sugar

2 tsp Chinese five spice

1 TBS hoisin sauce

1 tsp sriracha (or to taste)

For the spicy mayo

1/4 cup vegan mayo

1 lime

3 TBS sriracha

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DIRECTIONS

Heat the oven to 350.

For the pickled vegetables

Warm the water & add the sugar, salt & vinegar & stir until the sugar & salt dissolve.  Put the matchstick veggies in a bowl or jar & cover with the warm water mix.  Store in the fridge for at least and hour or two.

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For the marinade

Blend all the marinade ingredients & add the chicken to it.  Store in the fridge for at least an hour.

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For the spicy mayo

Blend the mayo with the sriracha & the juice of the lime.  Store in the fridge.

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For the Banh Mi

Prepare the cucumber, avocado, radishes & jalapeno.  Set aside.

Heat a frying or grill pan.  Treat it with cooking spray or olive oil & cook up the marinated chicken.  Set aside.

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Scoop the soft part of the bread out & throw it away.  Heat the bread in the warm oven for 5 minutes.

To assemble – simply spread some spicy mayo on the bread.  Then layer on some chicken.  Then pickled veggies (drained well!) & radish slices.  Add sliced cucumber & jalapeno.  Add lettuce & cilantro.  Add some avocado.  Smash it together.  Shove it in your face – and feel free to dip it in the extra spicy mayo.

See?  What’d I tell you?

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Spicy Vegan Chinese Green Pepper Beef

5 Comments

All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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Another easy gem made from Trader Joe’s Beef-less Strips.  Of course – real beef could be used.  Green pepper beef is my bad-ass boyfriend Miles’ favorite Chinese dish so I expect I will post an actual meat version of this some time down the line.

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Easy as can be & rather delicious.  Mine was a bit on the salty side so be sure to use the low sodium soy sauce.  I added dark soy sauce but if you cannot find this – omit it.  I used a vegetarian oyster sauce.  As with the dark soy – if you cannot find it – omit it.

I bought white rice from a local Thai joynt – hence the take-out container.

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Spicy Vegan Chinese Green Pepper Beef

Serves two pretty easily

INGREDIENTS

8 oz Trader Joe’s Beef-less Strips (or other vegan meat) – or real beef

1/2 onion – sliced thin

1 1/2 bell peppers – colors of your choice – sliced thin

olive oil

cornstarch

1 cup water

1/3 cup low sodium soy sauce

1 TBS dark soy sauce (optional)

1 tsp black pepper

1 TBS crushed red pepper (or to taste)

1 TBS ginger – minced

6 garlic cloves – minced

2 TBS brown sugar

1 TBS rice wine vinegar

1 TBS vegetarian oyster sauce (optional)

Cooked rice of your choice

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DIRECTIONS

Toss the meat in a few TBS of cornstarch to coat it.

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Heat a TBS or 2 of olive oil in a saute pan over high heat.  Sear the meat & the crushed red pepper until it browns a bit on all sides.  Set it aside in a bowl.

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Add another TBS of olive oil to the pan & cook the onions & peppers over medium heat until soft.  Put them in the bowl with the meat.

Add another TBS of olive oil to the pan & add the garlic & ginger.  After one minute add the soy sauces, water, black pepper, brown sugar, rice vinegar & oyster sauce.  Bring to a boil & let it thicken just a bit.  Add the meat & peppers & stir to blend.  Cook it down until the sauce is as thick as you want it & serve over rice.  YUM!

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Vegan Beef, Potato & Squash Curry with Gluten-Free Cauliflower “Rice”

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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OK – before I get into this very easy recipe for Vegan Beef, Potato & Squash Curry with Gluten-Free Cauliflower “Rice” – let me begin my effort to prep the world for the upcoming release of my first novel – Bathing & the Single Girl.

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Is was inspired by my short film of the same name.  The trailer for that film can be seen HERE.  I will be releasing it as an E-book only (for now) and I hope to have it up for sale before Christmas.  It is a comic Hollywood mockumemoir about fading fame, excessive drinking, awkward sex and the horrors of dating (and bathing with) younger men.  I hope you will read it when it comes out!

Here is a quote from the book’s heroine:

“See?  I can be selfless.  As long as there is something in it for me.” – Ruby Fitzgerald

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OK, that said – let’s move onto this delightful recipe!  It is very easy & very customizable.  I used the vegetables I used here because I had them on hand.  You could sub out things you don’t like or do not have & use things like carrots or sweet potatoes or green beans or cauliflower.  Whatever.  You could also use real beef.  I made a special effort to only use really mainstream ingredients & skipped the typical Indian spices like garam masala and curry leaves – because I wanted everyone to be able to make this – even those without access to the more exotic ingredients.  Do not be intimidated by the length of the ingredient list.  If you have a spice rack, you probably already have at least half of the stuff listed.

I served this with the gluten-free (guilt free, too!) cauliflower faux rice but you could use any rice you like – especially the wonderfully aromatic & traditional basmati rice.   Because this is really just an Indian beef stew, it would also go nicely over mashed potatoes or egg noodles.

The rice I made here used a bit of this stuff –

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which I buy at Super King for about $7.  You can buy it online.  You could use this or saffron threads threads or just a bit of turmeric to add color.

I also used coconut oil –

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and Trader Joe’s Beef-less strips.  If these are not available to you, use olive oil & and brand of faux beef you can find – or even a tofu or tempeh variety.  I used these little potatoes – but any potato will do.

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I used a butternut squash (half of one) and a red onion.  Sweet potato or brown onions all you have?  Use those!

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Vegan Beef, Potato & Squash Curry with Gluten-Free Cauliflower “Rice”

serves 4-6 easily

INGREDIENTS

For the cauliflower “rice”

1/2 large head cauliflower

1/2 onion – diced

1 TBS saffron liquid (or a few saffron threads steeped in 1/4 cup hot water for a few minutes) – or 1-2 tsp turmeric (for color)

2 TBS olive oil

Salt to taste

For the Vegan Beef, Potato & Squash Curry

Coconut oil (or olive oil)

2 (8 oz) packages of Trader Joe’s Beef-less Strips (or similar quantity of other vegan meat – or real beef)

Cornstarch

1/2 lb potatoes – cubed

2 jalapenos – diced (optional)

1 onion – diced

1/2 butternut squash – peeled & cubed (or a few sweet potatoes or carrots)

1 cup peas

Coconut oil (or olive oil)

2 TBS Madras Curry

1 TBS ground cumin

1 TBS ground coriander

1 TBS turmeric

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

1 TBS crushed red pepper (or to taste)

1 tsp sugar

2 tsp salt (or more – to taste)

1 TBS ginger – minced

8 garlic cloves – chopped

1 (14 oz) can diced tomatoes

1 (14 oz) can coconut milk (I used lite)

2 TBS apple cider vinegar

2 cups water

Paprika – as garnish

Fresh cilantro as garnish

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DIRECTIONS

For the Vegan Beef, Potato & Squash Curry

Toss the meat with a TBS or two of cornstarch until it is coated.

Heat 2-3 TBS coconut oil (or olive oil) in a large saute pan on high heat.  Sear the meat on all sides.  Set aside.

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Add another few TBS of oil to the pan & add the onion & jalapenos.  Saute over med–high for a few minutes or until soft.  Add the curry, cumin, coriander, turmeric, cayenne, salt, sugar, crushed red pepper, ginger & garlic and stir for about a minute.

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Add the tomatoes, coconut milk, apple cider vinegar & water & stir to blend.  Add the meat, potato & squash.

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Bring this to a boil & reduce to a simmer & let cook while you make the rice.

For the cauliflower “rice”

Using the grater blade of a food processor or just a regular grater – shred the cauliflower into a rice-like texture.

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Heat a few TBS of oil in a large saute pan & saute the onion until soft.

Add the cauliflower.  Add the saffron liquid or saffron threads & their steeping water or the turmeric and the salt.  Saute over med-high heat until tender – maybe 5-10 minutes.

Add the peas to the simmering beef curry & heat through.

Once the potato & squash are tender – serve your curry with the cauliflower rice & garnish them with the paprika & cilantro.  Eat way more than is decent or civilized because – what the fuck?  Why not?  This shit is vegan & gluten-free!  It is like eating air.  Really tasty air!

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Mixed Mushroom & Blue Cheese Galette in Sour Cream Pastry with Smoky Eggplant Faux Bacon (Vegetarian)

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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Wow.  Last night I was just not myself.  I blame the overpowering stench of the decomposing rat in my walls somewhere – somewhere near my kitchen.  I am not sure how many of you have had this experience but it is wildly unpleasant & sometimes can linger for a week or more.  Once that smell is in your olfactory memory bank, you never forget it.  In fact, if you are in the early days of said decomposition – you feel like that smell is on your upper lip & you start smelling it everywhere.  I got in my car yesterday & swore I smelled it.  I took my car to to the car wash as a concession to my paranoia.  They found no dead rats.  I swore I smelled it as I strolled the aisles at my glorious Super King.  I wondered how super markets are NOT overrun with rats.  All that food & produce.  How are rats not all over it at night?  Why do I have to store my flour etc in my fridge & freezer to avoid those little bugs that get in them – but stores can have stuff on the shelves forever & nothing invades?  I’m not a dirty girl.  My house isn’t dirty.  Anyway – I digress.

I decided that, rather than concede defeat & eat out last night, I would cook a lot of aromatic foods & try to combat the vile stench that way.  And I am happy to say, I was largely successful.  Today, I baked some sweet potatoes & now I smell autumn & holidays more than – you know what.

So – I made this galette last night.  It is basically an open-faced pie without the benefit of a pie plate to shape it.  They can be made sweet or savory.  This one is, obviously, savory.  I used a mix of crimini, portobello & oyster.  You can use any mix you like or use all white mushrooms.  It doesn’t matter.  I used blue cheese.  You can use goat cheese or feta or gorgonzola – your call.  I made the crust from scratch.  You can use a pre-made crust – or even a filo pastry.  Don’t get intimidated.  Just do whatever works for you.

I also made a faux bacon from eggplant slices.  It doesn’t taste like bacon AT ALL but it is smoky and oddly satisfying.  And the eggplant I used looked like a gorgeous leopard.  Not sure why.  I ate a bunch just standing there at the stove – trying to fill my head with other sensory experiences than dead rat.  Then – perhaps all doped up on the toxic fumes that had filled my house all day –  I FORGOT to use it in the galette recipe!  So – I just took bites of it as I ate my slice of galette & it was very yummy.  So – I will include the faux bacon as a potential ingredient but it certainly is not necessary.  If you are a whore for real bacon – feel free to fry some up & crumble it into the mushrooms when they are done.

Finally – I want to note that photographing cooked mushrooms is a tricky business.  They tend to get very dark & photograph as inky muck – so – be kind.

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Mixed Mushroom & Blue Cheese Galette in Sour Cream Pastry with Smoky Eggplant Faux Bacon (Vegetarian)

INGREDIENTS

For the Sour Cream Pastry Crust

1 1/4 cups flour

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 cup (1/4 pound) of butter – cut into small cubes & then FROZEN

1/4 cup sour cream

2 tsp fresh lemon juice

1/4 ice water

For the Mixed Mushroom & Blue Cheese filling

Between 1-1.5 lbs mixed mushrooms (I used crimini, portobello & oyster) – sliced thin or coarsely chopped

4 TBS butter

4 garlic cloves – minced

3 scallions – sliced (white and green parts)

1/2 cup sherry (or dry white wine)

1 tsp chopped fresh rosemary

1 tsp chopped fresh thyme

4 ounces blue cheese (or goat cheese or feta or gorgonzola or other) – crumbled

S&P

For the Smoky Eggplant Faux Bacon

1/2 large eggplant – sliced 1/8 thick

2 TBS soy sauce

1/2 tsp liquid smoke

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DIRECTIONS

For the Sour Cream Pastry Crust

Combine salt & flour in a bowl (I did all this in my food processor but it can be done in a bowl, too).  Add the butter & mix or pulse until just combined & it resembles a coarse meal.

Whisk the sour cream, ice water & lemon juice together.

With a wooden spoon (or pulsing in the food processor), slowly add the sour cream mixture until you get large lumps.  Collect into a large ball of dough & wrap in plastic wrap & refrigerate for at least an hour.

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For the Mixed Mushroom & Blue Cheese filling

In a large saute pan, melt 2 TBS of the butter (half the butter) over high heat.  Add the mushrooms and a scant pinch of salt & fry them over high heat until they release their liquid & then most of it has evaporated off.  Add the garlic & scallions & saute until the mushrooms begin to brown & sear a bit.  Add the sherry & cook it off then lower the heat to medium.  Add the second 2 TBS butter & the herbs & saute until well combined.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Remove from heat & allow to cool.

Crumble the cheese & set aside.

Parsley – chopped – as garnish

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For the Smoky Eggplant Faux Bacon

Heat the oven to 425 & prepare a cooking sheet with cooking spray.  Place the eggplant in a single layer & bake 8 minutes on one side & flip & cook another 3-5 – until it begins to brown.  You might need to do this in several shifts to cook all your eggplant.  Remove from the oven & allow to cool a bit.  Lower the oven temperature to 350.

Mix the soy sauce & liquid smoke in a bowl.  Dunk each slice of cooked eggplant in the liquid & put back on the cooking sheet.  Cook another 3-5 minutes.

Eat it like it is – or layer it into your galette.

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To assemble the galette

Heat the oven to 400 degrees.

On a floured surface – roll your sour cream pastry out to about a 12 inch circle.

Place the crust on a cooking sheet treated with cooking spray or topped with parchment paper or foil treated with cooking spray.

If you are using the faux bacon – layer it on the crust leaving 1.5 inch border (to be folded over later).

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Drop 2/3 of the cheese onto the crust leaving that 1.5 inch border (to be folded over later). Top with the mushroom mixture (leaving that border) & then fold the edges over the top – pleating if you can – leaving the center uncovered.

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Bake for 30 minutes or so & then top with the remaining cheese crumbles.  Bake another 5-10 minutes or until your crust is golden.

Remove from the oven & allow it to rest 5 minutes or so before cutting into it.

Garnish with chopped parsley & indulge!!!

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Vegetarian Cannellini & Garbanzo Bean Faux Meatballs and Gluten Free Spaghetti

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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vromans front

vromans back

Sometimes you just want simple comfort food.  For vegans & vegetarians – this used to be very challenging because so many of those meals are meat and/or dairy-based.  If you add gluten intolerance – things got pretty hairy.  Back in the day, anyway.

But, nowadays, there are vegetarian meats and vegan cheeses & gluten-free pastas & just about any dietary need can be tailored to by just knowing where to shop & how to substitute.  Look at this.

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Ronzoni, people!  Making gluten-free pasta.  I got it Ralph’s.  Pretty mainstream.

Recently, a reader (or non-reader, as it seems) felt the need to inform me that vegans do not eat fish – because I used the word vegan in the heading of my Easiest Spicy Thai Coconut Salmon Soup for the Slow Cooker.

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If they had bothered to read the post, they would have found that I suggested to my vegan readers that they sub out the salmon (and fish sauce) with extra vegetables.  Sometimes I think it is a waste of breath (or typed words) to suggest to a vegan how to modify a recipe to suit their needs as, I assume, most vegans are already pretty savvy about that.   Any mac & cheese recipe can be made vegan by just using vegan cheese.  Do I have to actually say “or vegan alternative” next to every non-vegan ingredient?  I look up traditional chicken dishes all the time – even though I do not eat chicken – and sub out the chicken with a seafood option or, in many cases, cauliflower (the most adaptable & wonderful veggie!).  I don’t get all hinky if I see chicken in the recipe.  I don’t EAT chicken but I am still allowed to acknowledge the word exists.   Still, I find that putting the words vegetarian or vegan or no carb or gluten-free in the heading of a post can often drive lots of traffic to it.  Why?  Because people are actively hunting for these things.  I’d hate for a vegan to miss my meatball recipe here just because it includes an egg.  I would assume that most vegans have met this hurdle before & have found a way around it – like these products HERE, for example.  Still – it seems lots of folks expressly use keywords like “vegan” in their searches and I’d like to show them some of my ideas – so I often add a parenthetical (vegan) to a heading.  And just so nobody thinks I am picking on vegans – conversely, do I really need to explain that my Chicago-style Veggie Hot Dog on a Gluten-free Cauliflower Tortilla 

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could be made with BEEF hot dogs & traditional buns?  Well – criminy!  I hope not – but I bet the words “carnivore’s dream” would bring new eyes to that recipe.

“Hey, Christine.  Vegans don’t eat fish.”

411.  Let me make a note.

Moving on.

I wanted spaghetti & meatballs.  I made it.  With fake spaghetti & fake meatballs.  But – never fear meat eaters.  REAL meatballs could be used, too.

“Hey, Christine.  Cranky much?”

🙂

I would like to mention that the gluten-free pasta tasted pretty much like white pasta, especially with the sauce on it but the texture was just a bit more brittle.  I’d compare it to day old pasta that you re-heated.  It doesn’t twirl around your fork very easily (who cares?) and I’m not sure a true al dente can be achieved but if you are a gluten-intolerant carb whore – I don’t think these are major drawbacks.  I recommend this as a very reasonable alternative to wheat pasta.

The meatballs will never fool a carnivore that they are eating Bessie but, for a 25 year-long vegetarian – they do the trick pretty nicely.  But, I don’t think I need to tell anybody who has been vegetarian for very long that there are very few truly convincing meat substitutes.  Still – nobody mistakes diet soda for real soda but that hasn’t hurt Diet Coke much.  You just adapt.  Adapt your expectations.  And broaden your palate.  Use your imagination.

Vegan & the recipe calls for an egg?  Google it.  Here are the suggestions that PETA makes:

There are plenty of egg substitutes available for baking or preparing a dish that calls for eggs. Ener-G Egg Replacer is a reliable egg substitute for use in baking. It is available at health food stores and most grocery stores.

Tofu: Tofu is great for egg substitutions in recipes that call for a lot of eggs, like quiches or custards. To replace one egg in a recipe, purée 1/4 cup soft tofu. It is important to keep in mind that although tofu doesn’t fluff up like eggs, it does create a texture that is perfect for “eggy” dishes.

Tofu is also a great substitute for eggs in eggless egg salad and breakfast scrambles.

In Desserts and Sweet, Baked Goods: Try substituting one banana or 1/4 cup applesauce for each egg called for in a recipe for sweet, baked desserts. These will add some flavor to the recipe, so make sure bananas or apples are compatible with the other flavors in the dessert.

Other Egg Replacement Options

• 1 egg = 2 Tbsp. potato starch
• 1 egg = 1/4 cup mashed potatoes
• 1 egg = 1/4 cup canned pumpkin or squash
• 1 egg = 1/4 cup puréed prunes
• 1 egg = 2 Tbsp. water + 1 Tbsp. oil + 2 tsp. baking powder
• 1 egg = 1 Tbsp. ground flax seed simmered in 3 Tbsp. water
• 1 egg white = 1 Tbsp. plain agar powder dissolved in 1 Tbsp. water, whipped, chilled, and whipped again

Egg Replacement Tips

• If a recipe calls for three or more eggs, it is important to choose a replacer that will perform the same function (i.e., binding or leavening).

• Trying to replicate airy baked goods that call for a lot of eggs, such as angel food cake, can be very difficult. Instead, look for a recipe with a similar taste but fewer eggs, which will be easier to replicate.

• When adding tofu to a recipe as an egg replacer, be sure to purée it first to avoid chunks in the finished product.

• Be sure to use plain tofu, not seasoned or baked, as a replacer.

• Powdered egg replacers cannot be used to create egg recipes such as scrambles or omelets. Tofu is the perfect substitute for eggs in these applications.

• If you want a lighter texture and you’re using fruit purées as an egg substitute, add an extra 1/2 tsp. baking powder. Fruit purées tend to make the final product denser than the original recipe.

• If you’re looking for an egg replacer that binds, try adding 2 to 3 Tbsp. of any of the following for each egg: tomato paste, potato starch, arrowroot powder, whole wheat flour, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, instant potato flakes, or 1/4 cup tofu puréed with 1 Tbsp. flour.

And PETA is just one resource.

Anyway – I digress.  The spaghetti used here can – wait for it…

be replaced with REGULAR pasta or whole wheat pasta or penne or farfalle.  But you knew that.  And the meatball recipe can be adapted to include whatever spices your grandma used to use or ones you see in any traditional meat ball recipe.  Being rigid & literal only works for bakers.  Most other cooking benefits from a looser interpretation & your own imagination.  Try it.  It is part of what makes cooking fun.

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Vegetarian Cannellini & Garbanzo Bean Faux Meatballs and Gluten-Free Spaghetti 

(makes about 30 small meatballs)

INGREDIENTS

Pasta of your choice

Pasta sauce of your choice (my marinara is HERE & my 5-minute arrabiatta is HERE)

1 (15 ounce) can of cannellini beans

1 (15 ounce) can of garbanzo beans

1 onion – quartered

3 jalapenos – seeded (optional)

8 ounces mushrooms

4 garlic cloves

1/2 cup parsley – chopped

1 TBS dry oregano

1 egg (or vegan substitute <wink>)

1/2 cup breadcrumbs (more or less)

S&P to taste (at least 1/2 tsp each)

Garnish – grated cheese (or vegan alternative), chopped parsley and/or chopped basil

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DIRECTIONS

Heat the oven to 350.  Grease a cooking sheet (cooking spray or olive oil).

Drain & rinse the two cans of beans.  Pulse in a food processor until mostly broken up.  Do not puree them.  Put them in a large mixing bowl & set aside.

Pulse the onion, jalapenos & garlic until chopped pretty fine.  Add to beans.

Pulse the mushrooms until chopped pretty fine.  Add to beans.

Add parsley, oregano, egg and breadcrumbs & mix it all up.  If it is too wet, add more breadcrumbs.  Add S&P.

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Create little meatballs (a bit smaller than a golf ball) in your palms & place on the cooking sheet.  I think I got about 32 meatballs this size.

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Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes & then carefully turn them & cook another 15-20 minutes.

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Heat your sauce.  Maybe heat some faux meatballs in there but be careful they do not fall apart.  Make your pasta.  Assemble.  Garnish.  Pour wine.  Devour food.  Scream out “VEGANS DO NOT EAT FISH!”  Feel self-righteous.

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Spicy Orange Cauliflower with Cauliflower Fried Rice (Vegan & Gluten Free)

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

 

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These recipes are the result of a week-long effort at avoiding carbs.  I am trying to shed a few pounds fast and, since carbs make up most of my regular diet, I thought cutting them out for a bit might get me some quick results.  So far, so good – and I haven’t missed the carbs at all because I have gotten very clever at using cauliflower to masquerade as (among other things) pizza dough

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& tortillas (which I also used as mini pizza crusts)

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hot dog buns

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mashed potatoes

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and fried chicken (while chicken is not a carb – it is always off my diet so this recipe pleases me especially).

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These faux buffalo wings are pretty great, too!

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At any rate – this faux rice made of grated cauliflower topped with spicy orange cauliflower is pretty delicious & nearly guilt-free.  And vegan!  And gluten-free!  And EASY!  So TRY IT and watch your ass lose mass in real time.

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Spicy Orange Cauliflower

INGREDIENTS

1 head cauliflower – cut into florets

2 cups orange juice

6 TBS soy sauce

4 tsp ginger

6 garlic cloves – minced

4 TBS Mirin

2 TBS brown sugar

6 TBS sriracha

2 TBS cornstarch

Garnish: sesame seeds and/or scallions and/or chives and/or cilantro

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DIRECTIONS

Steam the cauliflower for 5 minutes or roast it (tossed lightly in olive oil) at 425 for about 15-20 minutes.  Test that t is tender but don’t cook it until it gets mushy.  Set aside.

Heat the orange juice, soy sauce, ginger, garlic, mirin, brown sugar, sriracha to a boil.  Whisk in the cornstarch & simmer until it thickens – which should take less than five minutes.  Add the cauliflower & stir to coat.  Set aside on low heat.

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Cauliflower Fried Rice

INGREDIENTS

1 head cauliflower

1 small bell pepper (red is prettiest) – diced or slivered

3 carrots – shredded

1 small onion – diced

1 cup peas

1 TBS olive oil

2 TBS soy sauce

1 tsp sesame oil

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DIRECTIONS

Grate the cauliflower with a grater or the grater blade of your food processor (a far less messy option).  Set aside.

Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan or wok.  Add the vegetables & saute about 5 minutes.  Add the soy sauce & sesame oil.  Stir to blend.   Once these vegetables are tender – add the grated cauliflower.  Stir to blend.  Test the cauliflower for readiness but it should soften in less than five minutes.

Serve with the warm, orange cauliflower & garnish as you will.  Devour with abandon & laugh at the Gods!

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Spicy Southern Fried Cauliflower and Delta Dipping Sauce with Smashed Baked Potatoes and White Gravy and Buffalo Mac & Cheese

11 Comments

All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

~

All my posts now have a VERY customizable PRINT & PDF option.  Create a PDF & save the recipe to your computer or print it out.  It offers a “remove images” option & you can delete any part of the post you do not need before printing.  The button is below by the Twitter & Facebook links.

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In my hunt for other recipes meant to provide a cauliflower version of fried chicken, I ran into THIS post about Popeye’s Fried Chicken.  Here is a picture from that site:

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I have never eaten at Popeye’s or any other fried chicken joint (except KFC & Dinah’s here in Glendale) and I haven’t tasted ANY fried chicken in over 25 years – but my boyfriend Miles eats it all the time.  In fact, he eats it weekly now that the famous Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken opened a few blocks away from him in downtown Little Rock.  Miles is always sending me (at my request) pictures of the food he eats & I find myself looking at fried chicken so much – I have developed an undeniable craving for it.  And – that blogger that spoke of an incredible meal at Popeye’s didn’t help.  And that Delta sauce?  I liked the sound of it & a few clicks here & there revealed that Popeye’s discontinued it.  In fact, there seems to be quite a bit of hand-wringing going on about the now-unavailable Delta Sauce and that piqued my curiosity.  Fortunately, the blogger who loved the Delta sauce posted a copycat recipe for it & I could not resist.  So – I made it & I include that recipe here.  It is like a spicy Thousand Island dressing & it is INCREDIBLE on my – wait for it – Southern Fried Cauliflower!

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Doesn’t that look just like a fried chicken plate?  I was so Goddamn happy with myself yesterday – you have no idea.  If you make any of my zillions of cauliflower recipes – I have to say – it should be THIS one!  So easy & so delicious!  And if, like me, you don’t eat meat but the reasons for that do not include any distaste for meat products – this might really satisfy any existing fried chicken craving you might be in denial about.

That plate above includes yesterday’s recipe for Buffalo Mac & Pepper Jack Cheese.

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It also includes some smashed baked potatoes & a vegetarian white gravy.

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This is quite a decadent meal & the perfect fix on those days when the hole in your heart is bigger than your ass & you just don’t give a fuck.  You wanna eat & you wanna eat something bad.  This is as Paula Deen as I am likely to get but even with this dish – the fried chicken is really cauliflower & there is no bacon (or other meat) fat in any of it (excepting egg & milk) & the potatoes were made with a minimum of butter & WATER – because I’d run out of milk.  So – seriously – AT LEAST try the southern fried cauliflower & Delta dipping sauce.  I am certain you will enjoy!

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Spicy Southern Fried Cauliflower and Delta Dipping Sauce with Smashed Baked Potatoes and White Gravy and Buffalo Mac & Cheese

(This feeds about two (very well) so increase the recipes if you are feeding more.  The mac & cheese recipe feeds at least 4.)

INGREDIENTS

For the Southern Fried Cauliflower

(depending on the size of your cauliflower – you may need more or less of the other ingredients – so maybe have extra on hand)

1 head cauliflower

2 vegan eggs

1/4 cup water

1/2 cup Frank’s Hot Sauce

2 cups flour

1 tsp cayenne pepper

1 tsp each of S&P

1 tsp chipotle chili powder (or smoked or regular paprika)

1 tsp garlic powder

Lots of vegetable oil for frying

1 gallon zip lock baggy (not necessary but it makes life easier)

For the Delta dipping sauce

1/4 cup vegan mayonnaise

1 tsp lemon juice

1/8 cup vegetable oil

1/8 cup sambal oelek (or other chili sauce)

1/8 cup ketchup

1/4 tsp paprika

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp onion powder

1/4 tsp mustard

1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce

2-3 dashes hot pepper sauce (Tabasco or another brand)

1 garlic clove – minced

For the smashed baked potatoes

2 large potatoes

olive oil

2 TBS vegan butter

S&P

For the white gravy

2 TBS vegan butter

1 large shallot – minced

1/4 cup flour

1 1/2 cups non-dairy milk

1 vegetable bouillon cube

1/2 tsp dry sage

1 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp salt

For the Buffalo Mac & Cheese

See HERE

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DIRECTIONS

For the Delta dipping sauce

Whisk the ingredients together & chill.

For the Smashed Baked Potatoes

Heat the oven to 400 degrees.  Rub olive oil on the potatoes & sprinkle with salt.  Bake them – DIRECTLY on the oven rack – for about 45 minutes.  Remove from the oven & allow to cool a bit.  Peel the potatoes (I left bits of skin & browned spots for some color) & mash them up with the butter & some salt & pepper and as much milk or water (I used water as I was out of milk) as you need to get to a texture you like.  I used an old school hand masher & left them chunky & on the drier side.  I smashed them a bit more at the end with an immersion blender.  You do it however you like.

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For the white gravy

Heat the butter in a sauce pan & add the bouillon cube & the shallots.  Cook a minute or two until the shallots soften & the bouillon cube is dissolved.  Add the flour, sage & salt and pepper & stir constantly for about 2 minutes.  It should be quite dry.  Add the milk 1/2 cup at a time & allow it to thicken.  Continue until all the milk is incorporated and heat until the gravy is at your desired thickness.  Add milk if it is too thick.

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For the Southern Fried Cauliflower

In a bowl – whisk together the eggs, water & hot sauce.

In a zip lock bag or in a deep bowl – blend the flour with the rest of the dry ingredients.

Cut the cauliflower into the largest “drummettes” possible so they resemble chicken thighs & a few wings.  I sprayed my cauliflower with water so the flour mix would stick.

Put the cauliflower in the flour mix & toss to coat.  Dunk into the egg mix until covered & then back into the flour.  Coat again with the flour.

I do not have a thermometer to measure oil temp but I think 350 is the correct temperature for frying.  I just let it get hot, put one drummette in there & once that started bubbling pretty rapidly – I added a few more pieces

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Turn a few times & fry until they are a golden brown all over.  Drain on a paper towel.  Repeat until all the cauliflower is cooked.  Now – just divvy up the goodness & fill up that whole in your heart with some old school home cooking!

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