250 Calorie Fancified Hot Dog with Mango Salsa & Horseradish Mustard

All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

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This is less of a recipe than it is an idea.  A really good & satisfying idea.  After hiking to the Hollywood sign & back yesterday

I came home starving.  Like many people, I walk this 6+ mile walk several times a week not because it provides the spectacular reward that is that view from the top (and yesterday wasn’t nearly as pretty as it can be) nor because it gives me a two hour opportunity to reflect & naval gaze nor because it is a great opportunity to experience nature right smack dab in the center of a huge city but because I am a fat fuck & a cranky wench & that hike helps burn away both foils.

So – after huffing & puffing my way through the heat & dust – I returned home – as I typically do – feeling entitled & ready to shove something in my face.  In colder weather – I usually (and by usually I mean like 5 times a week) eat a huge bowl of my Zero Calorie Zero Carb Vegetarian Pho.

It is getting warmer now, though (it was 100 here two days ago), and soup doesn’t sound so good.  But a nice summery hot dog does!  And, if you eat veggie dogs, a huge one is only about 100 calories & the bun is likely to be about 120.  That is a pretty good deal, calorie-wise, assuming you like veggie dogs.  I posted this beauty last July

served with Cilantro Jalapeno mustard.

I could eat that mustard with a spoon!

But this time – I had mango salsa laying around leftover from my glorious Ahi Tuna Tower.

Mango Salsa

INGREDIENTS

1 ripe mango – chopped

1/2 red onion – minced

2 scallions – minced

1/2 red bell pepper – minced

1 jalapeno (or 2 serranos if you love heat) – minced

S&P to taste

Juice of half a lime

Juice of half a lemon

DIRECTIONS

Mix together.

I saw the bowl of this beautiful stuff in my fridge & asked myself why I shouldn’t use some to top a hot dog.  I am not a meat eater and even when I was – I loathed the concept of Hawaiian pizza (with ham & pineapple) and some of you may argue that this concoction is in that same ballpark – but I disagree.  The hot dog with my new favorite mustard – horseradish mustard – and this salsa is a most incredible, low calorie lunch delight!  I recommend very highly that you try it!  The salsa would also go very nicely on chicken or seafood so don’t be afraid to make a lot of it!

No Carb & 120 Calorie – Shirataki Pasta Alla Checca

All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

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These frigging noodles are amazing!!!  I do want to say, though, that these noodles are to pasta what veggie dogs are to hotdogs – a really effective & healthy substitute for something not that healthy – but no blindfolded person would ever mistake the substitute for the real thing.  We learn to make these adjustments in our expectations, suspend our disbelief, we make these culinary compromises, all the time – with diet sodas & veggie burgers & low fat mayo & vegan cheeses.

There are two kinds of these Shirataki – the ones made from yam flour with a clear, glass noodle result and zero calories & these tofu ones that cook up with a Cup-O-Noodle appearance with 40 calories a package. There are some carbs – a total of 6 grams in the package of these tofu ones.  I used two packages – so I had 12 grams of carbohydrates & 80 calories.  That is nothing for what seems like a large bowl of angel hair pasta.  These noodles are not as doughy as real pasta.  These, too, (as with the yam version I used in my Zero Calorie Faux Pho) have a sort of rice noodle snap to them but it isn’t off-putting.  And – these also have the icky fish smell when you open them but boiling the noodles eliminates that completely.  And, at $2.19 per package – these are an economical as well as a very waist-friendly option for those of us hoping to lose a few extra pounds we’ve picked up along the way.

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No Carb & 120 Calorie – Shirataki Pasta Alla Checca

INGREDIENTS

2 packages of Tofu Shirataki Angel Hair Noodles

2 cloves garlic – sliced very thin

1 tsp olive oil

1 small tomato – diced

Fresh basil – shredded

S&P to taste

Parmesan – optional (if you feel like a calorie splurge!)

DIRECTIONS

Open the noodles, drain & rinse them and boil them.

In a small pan, heat the olive oil.  Add the garlic & saute until fragrant – maybe a minute or two – being careful not to burn it.  Add the diced tomatoes & saute until heated through.

Drain the noodles & toss in with the tomatoes & garlic & stir.  Add salt & lots of fresh cracked pepper.  Serve with fresh basil & Parmesan.

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ZERO CALORIE ZERO CARB Vegan – Vegetarian Shirataki Pho

All Other Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013

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To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.

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OK – I fibbed a bit in the title of this post.  This soup actually has less than 5 grams of carbohydrates & 85 calories.  Still – it is a huge 3 cup bowl of spicy, awesome soup that is as close to guilt free as a bunch of celery and way more satisfying.  Look at the shirataki packaging:

It is ridiculous to suggest (as the package states) that this is a 2.5 serving package.  I ate two of these in my bowl of soup – so – I guess I had 5 servings, hence the 5 grams of carbs.  Still – zero calories!!

The calories came from a 30 calorie vegetarian bouillon cube, a 5 calorie TBS of sriracha & a 30 calorie TBS of vegetarian hoisin.

These noodles are a kind of miracle but be forewarned – they are packaged in a stinky water that smells very funky & fishy.  I drained my noodles, washed them in water & let them soak in clean water while I went to the gym.  I came back & sniffed & found them still rather distasteful in the olfactory department.  I read that boiling them removes the aroma – so – I made this soup. It was done in the time it took the water to warm just to boiling & there were ZERO funkified elements in the completed pho.  Had there been any lingering fishiness, the sriracha & hoisin would have overpowered it.  But, sincerely, there was nothing yucky about the finished product.  I am going to have to learn to get very creative with these because I just cannot pass up the opportunity of 85 calorie meals that feel like they are pasta-based.

ZERO CALORIE ZERO CARB Vegetarian Shirataki Pho 

INGREDIENTS

2  7 oz packages of shirataki noodles (I prefer the tofu ones to the yam ones)

2 cups stock (I used water & a veggie bouillon cube)

1 TBS hoisin sauce

1 TBS sriracha sauce (or to taste)

fresh chopped cilantro

DIRECTIONS

Drain & rinse the shirataki in hot water.  Put all the ingredients in a pot & bring just to a boil – making sure your bouillon is dissolved.  Add more fresh cilantro.  Shove it in your face like a glutton & imagine your ass shrinking until it looks like this

(image stolen from the internet)