Super Ultra Easy Any Season Spicy Salsa

 

All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2014

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Listen, people.  Not everything has to be labored over or locally sourced or a pain in the ass to be totally legit & delicious.  This salsa is spicy & yummy & you make it in your fucking blender.    Winter in the northeast?  No worries.  This salsa is spicy & kick ass & you won’t, I promise, you WON’T miss chopping sloppy, ripe tomatoes & other shit to make some pico de gallo.  Pico de gallo that NOBODY will presume cost you hours of chopping & three Bandaid wrapped finger cuts from chopping with a dull knife.  Don’t be a bitter, wounded – literally & otherwise – douche that has to tell everyone “I made that myself!” – because, frankly, they all really should kiss your ass for making them homemade pico de gallo when you know they probably open a jar of Pace Picante sauce when home alone.

But I digress.

Just buy these ingredients & stick’m in a blender or food processor & be done with it.

 

Super Ultra Easy Any Season Spicy Salsa

This make a LOT – like PARTY quantity

INGREDIENTS

1 15 oz can FIRE-ROASTED tomatoes

3 tomatoes (ripest you can find but don’t sweat it if they ain’t really ripe)

1 4 oz can fire-roasted green chiles

1/2 sweet or red onion

1/2 red bell pepper

4 garlic cloves

juice of 1 lime

1 jalapeno (I didn’t seed mine for extra heat)

1/2 cup cilantro

1 tsp salt

1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp cayenne or chili pepper

Puree that shit.   Season a bit more with lime or salt or whateverthefuck you like.  Done.

See?

Maybe serve this over my Vegan Ground Beef Taco Bowl with Cilantro Scallion Lime Cauliflower Rice?

 

The top video there is trailer for my novel.  The second is me reading from it a while back – at Vroman’s.