All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2013
To see images of my past posts & get links to the recipes – look on my Pinterest board – HERE.
I want to vent a little about going to the gynecologist. Nobody enjoys going to the gyn. Nobody. Look at this Cronenberg contraption.
There is something embarrasing about the pot holders on the stirrups. I don’t know why, especially as they should be the least of my worries as I am asked to “scoot down,” repeatedly, by my impatient doctor – asked to scoot down until I fear I am going to catch my socks on my earrings. But for some reason, they bother me.
What bothers me more is the fucking paper modesty provisions. And when I am paying a virtual stranger $220 to fondle my ovaries, manhandle my boobs with her icy hands & sneakily slip a finger up my ass, I’d like the courtesy of some cotton-made products to wrap myself in as she skulks out of the room & I slump, weeping in humiliation, onto the floor. Look at that blue thing. It is like a fucking matador vest. How is a paper SHRUG supposed to make me feel like I am being provided any cover at all? And the blanket for me to wrap around my fat ass as I sit waiting for this medical rape is also made of paper. I was so nervous in there waiting for her that I began to sweat. Yeah – sweat. Which caused the paper blankie to begin to disintegrate & stick to me in patches – like toilet paper on shaving cuts. I was so exposed & humiliated & apparently not even worth the expense of a hospital gown – I felt the need to stage a minor protest and keep my socks on during the exam.
Take THAT, Dr. Mengele!
Before the sweating commenced, I tried to make the best of my paper fashions & initiated a little modeling session.
Don’t judge me for going there without make-up. She doesn’t deserve the effort. I get a cotton gown that reaches below my belly button during the ordeal – then we can talk. Until then, she gets to see my every zit & crack & wrinkle on my face – as well as those on my vulva.
I sent a picture to my mother during my wait & she noted that my earrings matched my paper bippy top. It inspired me to try to sex it up.
As you can see – I failed. There is only so far you can take a paper outfit.
Then the doctor came in and what did she say? “Oh, look! Your earrings match your top!”
She is lucky I didn’t try to force a silent-but-deadly out on her while she flipped around with the cranks on the stainless steel speculum. You know, those things come in plastic, too. Doesn’t plastic seem more humane? Warmer? Less noisy? My paper garments felt even more ridiculous in a room with a woman armed with a metal penetration device. I then wished I hadn’t so meticulously wiped the exterior of my pee pee sample cup with the wet nap they provided.
Anyway – after the exam & the lecture about fucking calcium supplements & the third degree about potential symptoms of menopause – they fleeced me for the $220 I mentioned earlier & then added insult to injury by refusing to validate my parking. $10 later, I sped from the scene of these crimes, secure in my garments of man-made fibers.
So – now to the curries. I made three last night. I will post each recipe individually. They are all delicious & each is quite different from the others.
For this recipe, I used a can of green curry paste that I bought at Bangluck Market. They cost about .79 cents or something. If you have no Asian market nearby, you can buy this stuff on Amazon – HERE. This recipe is as easy as dumping everything into a pan & heating it – so I recommend these curry pastes very highly.
Black rice can also be purchased online – if you cannot find it locally. Black rice is considered a superfood by some – as you can see HERE.
“Brown rice is good for you, but black rice is even better. That’s because the bran hull contains significantly higher amounts of vitamin E, which bolsters the immune system and protects cells from free radical damage. In fact, black rice contains more anthocyanin antioxidants than blueberries, according to a study from the Louisiana State University Agricultural Center.”
I made mine in a rice maker but it can be made stove top, as well.
Forbidden Black Rice
Just use two parts water to one part rice. For example, bring 4 cups of water to a boil. Add 2 cups rice & return to a boil. Reduce heat, wrap a kitchen towel around the pot lid & cover the pan. Be CAREFUL that your kitchen towel is nowhere near the flame. You don’t HAVE to take this step but it is supposed to produce a fluffier rice. Let the rice sit unmolested on lowest heat for about 45 minutes. Check the texture. If it isn’t soft enough yet, let it sit another 15 minutes.
Or just use a rice cooker.
Green Curry Coconut Shrimp
1 4oz can green curry paste
1 14oz can coconut milk (lite or not – your call)
1 potato – peeled & cut into cubes
3 carrots – chopped
1 cup peas
1 lb shrimp – cleaned
1 TBS brown sugar
1 TBS sugar
1/4 cup heavy cream (optional)
Cilantro for garnish
Lime wedges (optional)
Put everything in a pot & simmer until the vegetables are tender. You can elect to put the shrimp in after the veggies are cooked to avoid overcooking the shrimp.
Serve with rice & garnish with chopped cilantro & lime wedges.