All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2012
TOO LATE? Perhaps. And for that – I apologize. I’m busy celebrating a sober & pretty quiet NYE with a less than sober (if still quiet) NY Day with champagne & Doritos.
I used to have far fancier tastes & would argue that Crystal was drier & had tinier bubbles than Dom & get into heated debates about the superiority of Crystal while consuming Kraft mac & cheese and champagne meals but that was a different time.
It might not sound sexy or festive to you (Chandon & Nacho chips) but I love champagne (and have even learned to love cheaper champagne despite the need to pop antacids like breath mints) – but what you may not know is that even in my darkest, 15 year old, straight edge punk rock youth:
I already adored Marilyn Monroe. She was SOOOOO much smarter than given credit for & broke a lot of ground for actresses (actors, too) and I could go on & on about her but GODDAMN! To look so gorgeous & come off as so harmless & yet be so quippy & empowered. I wish for a second – I could present my comedy with her honey & not my vinegar. Watch her here. NOT DUMB. Or maybe – dumb like a fox:
So anyway – The Seven Year Itch – long a top-ten film for me – at about :50 – explains the glamour or champagne & Doritos (for me, at least).
ANYWAY – these collard greens are meant to be served with Hoppin’ John – where the black-eyed peas represent coins & the greens represent folded money – BENJAMINS – and, together, served on New Year’s Day (why do I use caps there?) are meant to bring prosperity in the new year. Serve with a coin under each dish & ratchet that shit up!
Anyway – these are easy & cheap & delicious. And – virtually free of calories. A VERY healthy dish!!!
Folded Money Collard Greens
24 oz collard greens – trimmed, chopped & washed
1-2 TBS olive oil
1 large onion – diced
6 (or more) celery stalks – diced
6 garlic cloves – diced
1 TBS crushed red pepper
3 cups stock (I used water & vegetable bouillon)
1 tsp smoked paprika (optional)
1/4 tsp liquid smoke (optional)
2 tomatoes – diced
Hot sauce as garnish (optional)
Heat olive oil in a pan. Saute the onions & celery until they soften. Add the chopped garlic & crushed red pepper. Saute another 2-3 minutes.
I then put this in a larger stock pot. Add the collard greens & smoked paprika, liquid smoke, stock (veggie, chicken, homemade or water & bouillon). Bring to a boil & then reduce heat to low, cover & simmer for about 30 minutes. Add chopped tomatoes. Stir in & let sit on low heat – or removed from heat – for about 30 minutes. Don’t add salt…unless you really like being dehydrated & being unable to remove your rings. Somehow – this is QUITE salty just from the stock.
Serve with hot sauce & Hoppin’ John & scream out “BRING IT, Bitchez!!!!” and let the good times roll!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!