Folding Money Collard Greens (Vegetarian – Vegan)

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All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2012

Follow @celisemccarthy

TOO LATE?  Perhaps.  And for that – I apologize.  I’m busy celebrating a sober & pretty quiet NYE with a less than sober (if still quiet) NY Day with champagne & Doritos.


I used to have far fancier tastes & would argue that Crystal was drier & had tinier bubbles than Dom & get into heated debates about the superiority of Crystal while consuming Kraft mac & cheese and champagne meals but that was a different time.

It might not sound sexy or festive to you (Chandon & Nacho chips) but I love champagne (and have even learned to love cheaper champagne despite the need to pop antacids like breath mints) – but what you may not know is that even in my darkest, 15 year old, straight edge punk rock youth:


I already adored Marilyn Monroe.  She was SOOOOO much smarter than given credit for & broke a lot of ground for actresses (actors, too) and I could go on & on about her but GODDAMN!   To look so gorgeous & come off as so harmless & yet be so quippy & empowered.  I wish for a second – I could present my comedy with her honey & not my vinegar.  Watch her here.  NOT DUMB.  Or maybe – dumb like a fox:
So anyway – The Seven Year Itch – long a top-ten film for me – at about :50 – explains the glamour or champagne & Doritos (for me, at least).

ANYWAY –  these collard greens are meant to be served with Hoppin’ John – where the black-eyed peas represent coins & the greens represent folded money – BENJAMINS – and, together, served on New Year’s Day (why do I use caps there?) are meant to bring prosperity in the new year.  Serve with a coin under each dish & ratchet that shit up!

Anyway – these are easy & cheap & delicious.  And – virtually free of calories. A VERY healthy dish!!!



Folded Money Collard Greens


24 oz collard greens – trimmed, chopped & washed

1-2 TBS olive oil

1 large onion – diced

6 (or more) celery stalks – diced

6 garlic cloves – diced

1 TBS crushed red pepper

3 cups stock (I used water & vegetable bouillon)

1 tsp smoked paprika (optional)

1/4 tsp liquid smoke (optional)

2 tomatoes – diced

Hot sauce as garnish (optional)

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Heat olive oil in a pan.  Saute the onions & celery until they soften.  Add the chopped garlic & crushed red pepper.  Saute another 2-3 minutes.

I then put this in a larger stock pot.  Add the collard greens & smoked paprika, liquid smoke, stock (veggie, chicken, homemade or water & bouillon).  Bring to a boil & then reduce heat to low, cover & simmer for about 30 minutes.  Add chopped tomatoes.  Stir in & let sit on low heat – or removed from heat – for about 30 minutes.  Don’t add salt…unless you really like being dehydrated & being unable to remove your rings.  Somehow – this is QUITE salty just from the stock.

Serve with hot sauce & Hoppin’ John & scream out “BRING IT, Bitchez!!!!” and let the good times roll!



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One thought on “Folding Money Collard Greens (Vegetarian – Vegan)

  1. Pingback: Honey, Maple, Mustard & Sriracha Glazed Baked Ham | Delightful-Delicious-Delovely

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