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I had kale. Now I have pasta.
This is a LOT easier if you have a stand mixer & the pasta attachments – than if you are using a manual pasta maker as I illustrated in my plain pasta recipe.
I couldn’t find a recipe anywhere that incorporated the kale into the pasta itself. I cannot imagine why – as kale is all the rage right now amongst healthy eaters & obnoxious foodies. Maybe pasta is vulgar now. Impossibly dated – like this fanciful Wiener Crown
Or this even more beautiful centerpiece that I made for my friend Shelley’s Hawaiian/Zombie themed Bday party (I had been single a LONG time at this point in my life. I guess you can see where my mind was.)
That’s Shelley there. Nice ART she has – eh?
Anyway – maybe I should be talking about wheatberries? Or purple quinoa (Keen-wah – for those of you wondering). But fuck everyone. I’ve had more dental work in the last year than a Canadian high school hockey team. I currently have temporary crowns on two molars – on opposite sides of my mouth. (THIS is my life these days. Watch – if you dare.) Last night – I unknowingly ate half my body weight in my own still-numbed inner cheek flesh while I watched Obama lose the debate to a lying, smug arsehole who wants to sell the middle class so far down the river – we are all gonna want to self deport with the illegal Mexicans. My mouth hurts, my head hurts & Republicans have gotten people who live below the poverty line to root for corporations to be allowed to poison their food, water, air & for insurance/pharmaceutical companies to be again allowed to fuck us into the stone age. HARUMPH!
If I want pasta and not the far trendier farro & amaranth – I’m gonna have it!
OK – sure – I made it of KALE – but this is a food blog, after all, and I gotta try to do something special. Right?
Anyway – all I did was make my spinach pasta but subbed a head of kale (8 or 9 oz after the big vein was removed from the leaves) for the 6 oz of spinach. I really cannot understand why nobody else is making this. Maybe when I boil it – it will fall apart? Will it taste bitter? I guess I will see & report back later. (Update – they cooked up beautifully!!!! See my Kale Fettuccine & Herbed Bean Pasta recipe!)
These noodles seemed a bit wetter & harder to get to gel than the spinach variety. Also – I chose to stop pressing the dough flat about two settings before the thinnest setting. I had to run the dough through the thickest setting – adding more flour & folding & re-pressing – about a dozen or more times for each portion I worked with. This could get grueling with a manual crank. Just an FYI.
Fresh Kale Fettuccine Pasta Noodles
2 1/2 cups flour
1 head kale (8 or 9 oz after you remove the lare vein) – steamed (about 10 minutes) & squeezed dry
1 egg yolk
1 tsp salt
Put the steamed & squeezed dry spinach into a food processor & blend with the salt, eggs & egg yolk. Add the flour & process into a moist dough. Knead the dough with a little extra flour until it loses all tackiness. Then roll it out like instructed in the recipe here – PASTA DOUGH. Add more flour if the dough rolls out wet. Once you roll & cut the noodles – let them dry on a counter for at least an hour. They will cook in boiling water in less than two minutes. You can tell they are done because they begin to float up to the surface. Do not salt the water as homemade noodles tend to absorb the salt quickly & that can over power their delicate flavor.
Drain the noodles – toss with a little olive oil to prevent them from sticking together & the top with whatever sauce you are using.