All Photos © Christine Elise McCarthy 2012
Is there something satirical or, you know, wrong about posting a hangover cure that involves alcohol in an Amy Winehouse pint glass? I’m too hung over to figure that out. I would like to say this, though, to you amateurs out there: yes – I understand that it seems counter intuitive to drink more of the demon that got you feeling so bad as the cure for feeling so bad but you gotta trust. Maybe beer isn’t your thing. Maybe Bloody Marys disgust you. Then try a Bellini or something. I don’t care. But hair of the dog is the shortest way to recovery. Well – maybe recovery is the wrong word to use because drinking in the morning is a slippery slope – I acknowledge that – and it might lead to a need for recovery of an entirely more permanent & far less pleasant variety – sobriety. So – let’s just say – alcohol can mend what alcohol threw asunder – much like Ritalin (a form of speed) can cure hyperactivity. Just try not to get into a pattern with it. After all – a professional drinker understands pacing & training & developing tolerance. You can’t just go out once a month & do Jager shots & expect to hang with the big boys. Just like a good chef cleans as she goes, a good drinker knows their limits and never – I mean never – gets sloppy. But – hangovers get the best of us, sometimes. And I am here to hook you up.
OK – so – I am not a tomato juice person. It is thick & gross & always seems warm. Blech. And – I would like to point out – never did I sample a glass of tomato juice & respond by saying, “You know what’s wrong with this juice? It doesn’t taste fishy enough.” What could be worse than a thick, warm mouthful of tomato juice slugging its way down your throat like a kidnapper’s gag? A thick, warm mouthful of CLAM-infused tomato juice, that’s what.
Or, at least, that’s what you’d think. While I have found that vodka & numerous spicy additions are the only things that can salvage a glass of tomato juice and render it even remotely tempting – I need to confess that Clamato (to make a Caesar – http://cocktails.about.com/od/vodkadrinkrecipes/r/bloody_caesar.htm) makes a superior Bloody Mary – far better than just that random, plain, canned gagger stuff. Better yet, though, are the many pre-mixed spicy blends out there. I cannot make a decent Bloody Mary from plain tomato juice. I just cannot. I need to start with a decent Bloody Mary mix – like Mr. & Mrs. T’s – http://www.webstaurantstore.com/mr-mrs-t-32-oz-bold-spicy-bloody-mary-mix-12-cs/115BMARYRS.html. Starting with one of these mixes – and not one of the really thick ones – I add the following:
LOTS of ice
Vodka – no need for an expensive one – since so much crap is gonna be added
Hot sauce – I like Crystal – http://www.thekitchn.com/better-than-tabasco-louisianas-151272
Olives – the standard Spanish olives with pimento
Celery – with the leafy top
Dill pickles – for rim garnish (if you have’m. They are not critical)
Lime juice (fresh only!)
I am pretty heavy handed with the horseradish & the lime. You can mix these ingredients in any ratio you prefer. Master chef tip? If you go heavy with the vodka on the first one – the second one tastes AMAZING!